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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students finish high school and want to go and study in another country. This is something that is very common. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying in another count

Studying in an international
country
Use synonyms
 is becoming increasingly important for
students
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. That has sparked a considerable debate about whether
students
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 should travel to a foreign
country
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 once they complete
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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high school. I tend to agree that studying in different regions can significantly help them in their studies, as it provides individuals
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
high proportion of advantages of experiences, which significantly affect their personalities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and their resumes in future to have a high-quality life. On one hand, starting a new chapter, particularly for
students
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 in a foregin
country
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, who look for self-development, because it plays a vital role in the modern society,
due to
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 its effectiveness,
this
Linking Words
 is mainly because, they are going to encounter a large number of difficulties, which impact positively on their personalities and abilities ,
such
Linking Words
 as having new international relationships.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, in general, many
students
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 want to find diverse cultures in the community, where they can learn about several cultures in one place. A clear example to show that, as a foreign student studying in Malaysia, I found Malaysia a suitable
country
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 that combines highly-ranked universities and the differences in society.
Hence
Linking Words
, most people look for studying, and know about their culture
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 there are many merits. Travelling for studying has one drawback, which is, some
students
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 can not concentrate on their studies, because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they live in their past. Having
such
Linking Words
 an issue can affect their academic performance, and some people do not have the ability to cope with the difficulties
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 they face throughout their career.
Therefore
Linking Words
, those who can not handle their situations may collapse instantly.
Consequently
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, many
students
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 who have the mentioned problems
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 could quit and not succeed in their university career. In conclusion, I believe that
students
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 should have a passion to travel abroad, to pursue their studies successfully.
Although
Linking Words
 it has many issues that affect them negatively, it has shown a wide range of significant impacts on their future. I suggest that all
students
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 take action to try
this
Linking Words
 experience to have a bright future. قيم

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improvement
Make a plan before you write. Put the main idea in each part.
improvement
Use clear link words to join ideas, like first, next, also, but, so.
improvement
Keep one big idea per paragraph and start a new paragraph for a new idea.
improvement
Give one clear example for each point and explain how it shows the idea.
improvement
Check spelling and use simple words. Use phrases you know well.
improvement
End with a short and clear conclusion that restates your view.
structure
The essay shows both side views.
content
It uses a real example (Malaysia) to show a point.
content
The ending states a view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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