IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the futures, robots will do more and more jobs instead of human. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

n
Correct your spelling
In
 the future,
robots
Use synonyms
 will replace
humans
Use synonyms
 in the workplace.
Although
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this
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 trend brings some minuses, I believe it is mainly a negative development.
To begin
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 with, one of the main disadvantages of human beings being replaced by
robots
Use synonyms
 is that the earnings of
people
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 can decline.
This
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 means that
after
Change preposition
in
show examples
 years
, there
Verb problem
to come, there
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 will not be any
humans
Use synonyms
 in many workplaces and
robots
Use synonyms
 will take these places
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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brings
Wrong verb form
will bring
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 a high
unemployed
Replace the word
unemployment
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 rate
overall
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 might lose their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
Punctuation problem
, in
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in
Change preposition
from
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 which they earn money.
For example
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, individuals who have children or should help their parents will start
being
Verb problem
committing
show examples
criminal
Replace the word
crimes
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, which leads to an increasing number of crimes. Another important minus is that
robots
Use synonyms
 might be easily hacked by
humans
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.
In other words
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, hackers will hack individual bank accounts and steal all their money.
This
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 leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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decreased faith
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
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, and
also
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 the reputation of banks.
For instance
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, many businessmen who have
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 amount of salary
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 to
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
banks because of the trust and safety.
However
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,
this
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 trend
also
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 has some positive aspects. One significant benefit is that
people
Use synonyms
 can spend time with their family and their own interests.
This
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 can lead to stronger relationships between family members.
For example
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, many families between children and parents have weak relationships, which cause scandals.
Additionally
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, those
robots
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 replacing
people
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’s jobs can be seen as an advantage because of individual abilities.
As a result
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,
people
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 who have skills like sewing and cooking will appreciate it.
For instance
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, many
people
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 might forget individual skills
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
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however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who do not forget
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 abilities can make a lot of money. In conclusion,
although
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 those
robots
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 taking
humans
Use synonyms
' jobs have some advantages, I strongly believe that
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 drawbacks are more significant.
Therefore
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,
this
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 trend should be considered mainly a negative development.

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task response
Try to give a clear view and keep a fair talk. Start with a direct answer in the intro, then add reasons for both sides.
language grammar
Fix hints of grammar and choice of words. Use short, simple sentences to make ideas clear.
coherence
Use clear, good examples and link them to your point with words like because, for example, also.
organization
The essay keeps a view and uses connect words in places.
content
There are paragraphs and some examples to back ideas.
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