Many children today are overweight. This is a serious problem today. Give reasons for this and give solutions to help this problem.

Society is different today , and that includes the eating habits of most
children
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. Nowadays, many
children
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suffer from being overweight.
This
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is a huge, serious health problem.
This
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essay will examine the reasons and solutions for being overweight. On the one hand, there are many reasons why
children
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are overweight. First , many
children
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eat fast
food
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.
For example
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, they eat fries and burgers .
Moreover
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,
this
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food
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contains far too many calories , making it extremely unhealthy to eat. Second, bad parental control makes them eat more .
For instance
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, if families show some healthy care for their
children
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Punctuation problem
,
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they will do the same care .
Third,
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most
children
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do not do any exercise.
For example
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, they do not go to the gym or play sports.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there are some solutions to fix
this
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serious problem . Primarily, good parents can push them to lose weight .
As well as
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when their family supports them , they will do some exercise . Second , they can eat healthy
food
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instead
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of fast
food
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.
For instance
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, they can depend on salad
instead
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of fries .
Thirdly
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, they can go to the gym and work hard to lose weight and burn calories .
As well as
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this
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,
children
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should be encouraged to play sports and do some family activities. In conclusion , it is clear to see that there are many reasons why
children
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are overweight today.
However
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, there are some excellent solutions to solve
this
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problem .

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task response
Task response: The essay covers the topic and gives reasons and fixes, but it needs more clear and full ideas and more examples.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Use clear topic sentences and simple links to join ideas. Some sentences are too long; add punctuation and break ideas.
development
The intro states the topic and plan.
structure
Two clear parts talk about causes and fixes.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • behave
  • better
  • punished
  • rewarded
  • believe
  • effective
  • arguing
  • immediately
  • unwanted
  • fear
  • pain
  • good
  • actions
  • praise
  • treated
  • learn
  • positive
  • feedback
  • happy
  • feel
  • repeat
  • future
  • create
  • problems
  • rather
  • learn
  • wrong
  • caught
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