IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this correspondence?

Some countries' traditions tell
children
Use synonyms
 that they can gain
Correct article usage
the abilty
show examples
abilty
Correct your spelling
ability
 to
everything
Verb problem
do everything
show examples
 if they try hard enough.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
culter
Correct your spelling
culture
 brings more disciplined
children
Use synonyms
, it can
also
Linking Words
 make them give up easily. On one hand, when people
told
Verb problem
are told
show examples
 that they can achieve something
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 trying hard, it makes them
well-organized
Change the spelling
well-organised
show examples
 and more confident.
This
Linking Words
 can push them to try harder if
begins
Correct pronoun usage
it begins
show examples
 at
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 young age.
Children
Use synonyms
 can have
this
Linking Words
feeeling
Correct your spelling
feeling
 that they can get something
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 trying and working hard enough.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
thsi
Correct your spelling
this
 can make them feel not enough for their dreams or something small.
For example
Linking Words
, some people can not have anything they want whenever they want because of conditions
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their families or environment. Sometimes
children
Use synonyms
 might have unrealistic expectations in conditions to
this
Linking Words
 situation.
This
Linking Words
 leads them to ignore their
personel
Correct your spelling
personal
 limits. In conclusion, the pressure on
children
Use synonyms
 can have advantages or disadvantages, especially for their
self-confident
Replace the word
self-confidence
show examples
.

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grammar
Fix spelling and word choice. Use the right form of words and spell common words correctly.
coherence
Make ideas clear and easy to follow. Use simple link words like and, but, also, however to join points.
content
Add more clear ideas for each side and give simple, real examples to show why you think so.
style
Keep the tone plain and use short, direct sentences. Check for small mistakes that make meaning hard.
structure
The writing tries to show both sides of the issue.
coherence
There is a clear start and end to the piece.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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