In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays, there is no denying the fact that many
families
Use synonyms
around the world have both parents working.
While
Linking Words
it is a commonly held belief that hiring someone to look after their
children
Use synonyms
is very critical, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the economic situation is high today in our era, which requires two working parents. It is acceptable to find
people
Use synonyms
to care for our kids.
To begin
Linking Words
with, many companies have restricted rules that must be followed, especially on the hours of duty, and that require
reaching
Verb problem
employees
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to spend a little time with their
families
Use synonyms
at home.
In other words
Linking Words
, some individuals like to pay
people
Use synonyms
to care for their
children
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, that will help them to focus more on their work and provide some time to relax or enjoy. Another point to consider, some
people
Use synonyms
believe
this
Linking Words
is not good for
families
Use synonyms
, which that harm their relationships with their kids. It is possible to say that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
some
families
Use synonyms
believe the assistance workers have a high price with less time spent working.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
do not have enough money to pay for
this
Linking Words
type of care.
Also
Linking Words
, some parents prefer to monitor their
children
Use synonyms
themselves. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
having different views, I believe that finding some help at home, and caring work in our home is a very good idea. I believe building a special space for caring for the
children
Use synonyms
inside our building is the best.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your view clear in the first sentence and keep a plan for your essay. Do not add new ideas at the end.
coherence
Use one main idea in each paragraph with a short opening sentence that shows the point. Use simple link words to show how ideas connect.
content
You say you agree with the idea and give reasons related to work and care.
structure
There are some good ideas about why parents may hire care help.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: