IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that large companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what exent do you agree or disagree with this view

Nowadays, the highest percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 that big companies should create
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and
facilities
Use synonyms
 for the local people.In my opinion, I totally disagree
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
, because
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 must provide
such
Linking Words
 stuff to the nation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
this
Linking Words
 is the duty of the organisations to support their people in a country, especially
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
atheletics
Correct your spelling
athletics
 and social
facilities
Use synonyms
. Since many workers are paying taxes to the government,
Linking Words
therefore
Rephrase
apply
show examples
that money should build football grounds and improve some of the local buildings.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the UK, a survey was conducted in 2025,
proved
Correct pronoun usage
which proved
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 that about 80% of their taxes were used
renovate
Verb problem
to renovate
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 old parliament offices and construct other
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 ones.
This
Linking Words
 clearly shows that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is the work of the government to provide
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and local
facilities
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, large companies should improve their places for them to accommodate many workers and produce favourable products.
Instead
Linking Words
 of spending more money on sports activities, it is better to give that cash as a bonus to the workers so that they
graft
Verb problem
work
show examples
 with more energy and happiness.A very good example to consider is that, in America, civil servants are very happy and enjoying their jobs because they are getting
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 salary and monthly bonuses.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can prove that big employers must save their funds and give them to the employees as their salaries.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 others think that large companies should provide
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and social
facilities
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
This
Linking Words
 is the job of the authority to create improvement in the country.

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Structure/Positioning
Make your point clear in the first lines of the essay and restate it in the last line.
Coherence
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to show what the paragraph will discuss.
Content/Accuracy
Add more details that support each point and be careful with facts; use only true or believable examples.
Coherence
Avoid too many new ideas in one paragraph; finish one idea before you move to the next.
Grammar
Check grammar and sentence form to avoid mistakes that hide your meaning.
Positioning
You take a clear view against the idea.
Organization
There is some good link from one idea to the next.
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