IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In a lot of countries today, people can buy a wider range of household goods, such as microwaves, television, or rice cookers, than ever before. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are able to purchase and utilise everything than before.
This
Linking Words
a
Verb problem
is a
show examples
beneficial shift which makes individuals’ lifestyle better, saves
time
Use synonyms
 and effort. These days,
people
Use synonyms
 can purchase everything,
such
Linking Words
 as microwaves,
television
Fix the agreement mistake
televisions
show examples
 and others.
According to
Linking Words
 scientists, those tools not only changed
people
Use synonyms
’s lifestyle, but
also
Linking Words
 affected or caused many issues.
People
Use synonyms
 shifted to
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 way of life, individuals are not moving adequately,
while
Linking Words
 in the past ,
people
Use synonyms
 constantly moved, sat and stood up,
overall
Linking Words
, they did everything by themselves, so that they were healthy and robust. Having not enough movement, they are facing different problems, and the most common is obesity. Obesity forms from having less activity, or sitting in one place for a long period of
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, since the invention of the TV, most
people
Use synonyms
 are addicted to
this
Linking Words
 production, they spend their whole day
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eating snacks, watching their favourite TV programs. Ultimately, it ends up with many severe consequences.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those innovations have already become a part of our lives. We use household appliances literally every day. Now folks can’t imagine their life without them. Since these productions appeared, labour requiring things were replaced by
machines
Use synonyms
, and it
also
Linking Words
 eased the lives of the
people
Use synonyms
. Unless current household items were not invented, an immense amount of funding and
time
Use synonyms
 would be spent on household activities. Now
people
Use synonyms
 can concentrate on their duties and achieve their goals, whilst these
machines
Use synonyms
 work for
people
Use synonyms
 and save humans
time
Use synonyms
. In the future, it might be developed even more with ubiquitous features or can be more efficient compared to current unique
machines
Use synonyms
. They will probably be much cheaper and affordable for humanity. In conclusion, using cleverness and sagely is the better option , and it can bring several triumphs.
While
Linking Words
 these
machines
Use synonyms
 will be more exclusive and inclusive for everyone

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Put a clear view at the start and keep it till the end.
task
Give more clear proof or facts to back up ideas.
coherence
Use easy link words to join ideas (and, but, also, so).
language
Make sent to be short and simple.
language
Fix spelling and grammar in the end.
structure
The intro states the topic and shows both good and bad sides.
conclusion
There is a clear end that shows a view.
coherence
The writer uses 'on the other hand' to show contrast.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: