Nowadays, people believe that the environment influences their accomplishments. Some people think their success and accomplishment were influenced by the places where they grew up. Do you think the environment does or does not affect people’s accomplishment and how it affects? Please give an example of a famous person to support your statement.

It is argued that some
people
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think that the environment where
people
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grew up can affect their achievement in the future.
While
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it
does
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is
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certainly true in several cases, it is
also
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crucial to examine the reason
behind
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apply
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why the implication of society background does not define
people
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's success in the long run. I strongly believe that the correlation between environment and accomplishment is minimal. I provide two explanatory
argument
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arguments
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, with an example to support
this
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essay statement.
Firstly
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, any personal
backgrounds
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background
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of a person
are
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is
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just a default situation, or something that cannot be altered by any means.
However
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, the future is still unwritten
and
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, and
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people
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are given
a
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apply
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full liberty to create their own path.
Lets
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Let's
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jump into an example, Daniel Craig, a notable
english
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English
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actor, was
a
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apply
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homeless before
successfully
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being successfully
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casted
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cast
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to play
a
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the
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role of James Bond. He lived in poverty
while
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hustling in Los Angeles to build his own acting career. Considering his background, the probability of him being able to penetrate
to
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apply
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the
Holywood
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Hollywood
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industry is zero to none.
However
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, he chose
to not
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not to
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be defeated by design.
Secondly
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, life is always a game of choice. A famous
word
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saying
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,
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apply
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that has been circulating online for quite
long
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a long
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time, said "Born poor is not your fault, but died poor is yours".
For example
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, there is a male student who lives
under
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below
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a
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the
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poverty line. It is indeed life
hits
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that hits
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him hard
and
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, and
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it requires him to give an extra effort to study. Maybe it is not comfortable, but he chose to be
friend
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friends
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with the circumstances.
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As The
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The
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a
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result of his hustling life, he won the national championship. In conclusion,
environment
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the environment
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does influence
people
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in some way
but
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, but
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the outcome is not absolute.
People
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still have a choice to be affected, or strongly
opposed
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oppose
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the situation to build their own triumph. History has written tons of stories implying that achievement and success are possible if we have the will.

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grammar
There are many grammar slips and wrong form of verbs. Work on subject-verb agreement and word form.
coherence
Use simple and clear links between ideas. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and use transitions like 'for example' or 'however' to connect.
task response
Your view is clear, but give more support. Show why environment affects less, and add more facts or ideas.
lexical
Keep to simple words. Some words are not in the most common 100. Check spelling and choice of word.
structure
Paragraphs should be put in a plain form: intro, two body parts, and a short conclusion.
content
The writer takes a clear view on the topic
support
An example is used to back the point
structure
There is a basic essay plan with introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achievement
  • influences
  • environmental determinism
  • resource availability
  • urbanization
  • rural upbringing
  • cultural heritage
  • societal norms
  • determination
  • adaptability
  • obstacles
  • high-altitude training
  • innovation hubs
  • balanced perspective
  • personal traits
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