Nowadays, people believe that the environment influences their accomplishments. Some people think their success and accomplishment were influenced by the places where they grew up. Do you think the environment does or does not affect people’s accomplishment and how it affects? Please give an example of a famous person to support your statement.

It is argued that some

people

Use synonyms

think that the environment where

people

Use synonyms

grew up can affect their achievement in the future.

While

Linking Words

does

Verb problem

show examples

certainly true in several cases, it is

also

Linking Words

crucial to examine the reason

behind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why the implication of society background does not define

people

Use synonyms

's success in the long run. I strongly believe that the correlation between environment and accomplishment is minimal. I provide two explanatory

argument

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arguments

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, with an example to support

this

Linking Words

essay statement.

Firstly

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, any personal

backgrounds

Fix the agreement mistake

background

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of a person

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

just a default situation, or something that cannot be altered by any means.

However

Linking Words

, the future is still unwritten

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are given

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

full liberty to create their own path.

Lets

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Let's

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jump into an example, Daniel Craig, a notable

english

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English

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actor, was

Correct article usage

apply

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homeless before

successfully

Verb problem

being successfully

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casted

Verb problem

cast

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to play

Correct article usage

the

show examples

role of James Bond. He lived in poverty

while

Linking Words

hustling in Los Angeles to build his own acting career. Considering his background, the probability of him being able to penetrate

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apply

show examples

the

Holywood

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Hollywood

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industry is zero to none.

However

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, he chose

to not

Correct word order

not to

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be defeated by design.

Secondly

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, life is always a game of choice. A famous

word

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saying

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

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that has been circulating online for quite

long

Correct article usage

a long

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time, said "Born poor is not your fault, but died poor is yours".

For example

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, there is a male student who lives

under

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below

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

poverty line. It is indeed life

hits

Correct pronoun usage

that hits

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him hard

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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it requires him to give an extra effort to study. Maybe it is not comfortable, but he chose to be

friend

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friends

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with the circumstances.

Change preposition

As The

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The

Correct article usage

show examples

result of his hustling life, he won the national championship. In conclusion,

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

does influence

people

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in some way

but

Punctuation problem

, but

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the outcome is not absolute.

People

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still have a choice to be affected, or strongly

opposed

Wrong verb form

oppose

show examples

the situation to build their own triumph. History has written tons of stories implying that achievement and success are possible if we have the will.

dimasardana07

Feb 12, 2026

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grammar

There are many grammar slips and wrong form of verbs. Work on subject-verb agreement and word form.

coherence

Use simple and clear links between ideas. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and use transitions like 'for example' or 'however' to connect.

task response

Your view is clear, but give more support. Show why environment affects less, and add more facts or ideas.

lexical

Keep to simple words. Some words are not in the most common 100. Check spelling and choice of word.

structure

Paragraphs should be put in a plain form: intro, two body parts, and a short conclusion.

content

The writer takes a clear view on the topic

support

An example is used to back the point

structure

There is a basic essay plan with introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achievement
influences
environmental determinism
resource availability
urbanization
rural upbringing
cultural heritage
societal norms
determination
adaptability
obstacles
high-altitude training
innovation hubs
balanced perspective
personal traits

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