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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays a lot of teenagers are inspired by famous people, even though they set a bad example to young generation with bad actions. This is a positive or negative development ?

In the current century, there are a lot of youngsters who
inspire
Wrong verb form
are inspired
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with
Change preposition
by
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 different famous
tv
Use the right word
TV
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 stars, singers, and influencers, notwithstanding that they
Verb problem
do set
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set not
Correct word order
not set
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 the best, or even a bad example.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend may have some benefits,
Linking Words
thus
Use the right word
it has
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 drawbacks
Punctuation problem
; its
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its
Use the right word
it's
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 largely negative
development
Check wording
apply
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due to
Linking Words
 its huge influence
to
Change preposition
on
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 teenagers with bad actions. The main problem of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation with encouraging famous bad people is its huge impact
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they have. There are a lot of stars who
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
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 nicotine substances, or illustrate disloyalty as a cool thing in their songs, movies or just videos, and
normalizes
Replace the word
normalise
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 nudity as
selfexpression
Correct your spelling
self-expression
.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays the largest part of teens used to behave
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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irresponsible
Replace the word
irresponsibly
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and
frivolous
Replace the word
frivolously
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due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 effect.
In addition
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, the consumption of illegal things
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 increased noticeably because of
romanticizing
Change the spelling
romanticising
show examples
 them. Despite these huge disadvantages, it
also
Linking Words
 has some benefits. People may observe these
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
 stars who encourage awful things, and it is a good possibility
to
Change preposition
for
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 fans to take it
to
Change preposition
into
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 account
of
Change preposition
as
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an
Correct article usage
a
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 situation that they should
to
Verb problem
apply
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avoid, and not let it
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
happen .
For instance
Linking Words
, if something may occur with an idol in the result
due to
Linking Words
 their actions, they will know
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what consequences
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
it leads
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 In conclusion, the
encourage
Replace the word
encouragement
show examples
 with famous people who do disappointing actions sets a good example
with
Change preposition
of
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 what they exactly should not need to do to youngsters, its negative effects are more significant. The encouragement of impolite
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and
unserious
Correct article usage
an unserious
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 attitude
to
Change preposition
towards
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woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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this
Linking Words
 development crucially negative
overall
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.

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task response
State your view clearly at once. Say if you think the rise of idol acts is good or bad.
task response
Give 2 strong ideas with a simple proof or example for each idea.
language use
Fix long, hard read lines. Use short, plain words. Short sentences help.
coherence cohesion
Use a topic line at the start of each part. Then use link words to move ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make ideas stay on the topic. Do not go far from the main point.
task response
Add more real and clear examples. Make sure they back your point.
content
The writer shows a clear aim that the trend is mostly bad.
structure
There is a close end that repeats the idea.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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