The chart below shows what history graduates did after completing their undergradudate degree course from a university in fhe UK. The table shows the sectors these graduates were employed in within six years of graduating and their average incomes

The chart illustrates what ancient graduates did after finishing their undergraduate diploma course from a university in the UK. The table demonstrates that the groups for these graduates were staff members within six years of graduating
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
their median salary.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the chart it can be seen that people who are not working and employees what time they are working. At the same time, you can see in the table that
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
sectors’ average income in
pounds
Use synonyms
sterling , with what percentage. First of all, in the chart , individuals who are the employer shows 57% staff members are working full-time jobs,
while
Linking Words
part-time work and unemployed people are about 13%.
In addition
Linking Words
, full-time postgrad study, part-time postgrad study, and unknown jobs have approximately 5 per cent.
However
Linking Words
, at the table for those who are working other jobs than that, it shows that tables have the highest proportion of about 37% with 30,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterling. After that, those who work as history teachers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
have 30% with 32,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterling,
while
Linking Words
solicitors have the highest , about 57,000
pounds
Use synonyms
sterling
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
a lower proportion of 18%.
Finally
Linking Words
, archaeologists and historians have a similar percentage , approximately 7,5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pounds with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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