IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers- based on technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Computers
Use synonyms
 are making
people
Use synonyms
 dependent on them
due to
Linking Words
 their technology. I think, in
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
Use synonyms
computers
Punctuation problem
, computers
show examples
 will take
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of teachers
due to
Linking Words
 AI innovation. But it is not good for us to become more dependent on
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 because it will take moral values of man.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
computers
Use synonyms
 will show many diverse changes in
future
Use synonyms
. It might be right to say that
computers
Use synonyms
 will take
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of many
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 will find it easy to get their skills from
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of visiting schools. Nowadays, a person can take only video lectures recorded by a man, but in
future
Use synonyms
, I
hoped
Wrong verb form
hope
show examples
 that AI will be their teacher.
There
Use the right word
Their
show examples
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 would have no need of teachers from any source.
For example
Linking Words
, AI is growing
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
 and can answer every question, but currently it is just used for some questions and assignments, but
Correct pronoun usage
we hoped
show examples
hoped
Wrong verb form
hope
show examples
 that in
future
Use synonyms
 it will be
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
 of
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation. On the other side,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 is good
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 becoming totally dependent on technology can have many negative effects. If a person
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 for
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
, he will have less attraction
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 humans. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result,
due to
Linking Words
continues
Replace the word
continuous
show examples
no
Check wording
lack no
show examples
 attraction with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, a man will lose all his communication and moral skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 or most of the
day
Use synonyms
 in front
computer
Use synonyms
 can cause many health issues
such
Linking Words
 as obesity and back pain. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
 of technology,
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming addicted to
computers
Use synonyms
.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 are spending much of their time on
computers
Use synonyms
. In
future
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 would try to get their education
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 skills by
use
Replace the word
using
show examples
 of
computer
Use synonyms
. But in my opinion, it would be worse for their
moral
Use the right word
morale
show examples
 and health.

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task response
Plan what you want to say. Make one clear idea in each paragraph and stick to it.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas. Words like also, but, so, then help the flow.
grammar
Use simple, short sentences. Check use of verb and tense.
content
Give one or two good examples that fit the idea.
task response
Finish with a short end that restates your view.
content
You show that future tech can change who teaches.
structure
You try to show both sides of the idea.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Automation
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital divide
  • Internet of Things (IoT)
  • Machine learning
  • Smart technology
  • Telecommuting
  • Virtual reality (VR)
  • 3D Printing
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