Some parents give their children everything that their children ask foror allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children?Whatcould be consequences for these children when they grow up?

Nowadays, an increasing number of
parents
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not only grant
children
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every wish, but
also
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do not control their
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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actions. In my view, these ways are negative for
children
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. What is more, they face various
problems
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, which makes them
frustrate
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frustrated
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and want to give up.
Furthermore
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,when they grow up,
children
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will become self-centred .
This
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educational way is negative for
children
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.
Although
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it may seem to make
children
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happy in the short term,
this
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kind of parenting is harmful in the long run.Because these
parents
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satisfy their
children
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’s demands and do not control their actions,
children
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cannot learn to face difficulties.
As a result
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, when they meet
problems
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in life or study, they will feel frustrated and want to give up.
This
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is because they lack the ability to solve
problems
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by themselves.
For example
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, if they fail an exam, they will hate studying and give up. Another consequence is that
children
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will become self-centred.Because
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this kind
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these kinds
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of
parents
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always grant
children
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all their needs,and fail to teach them to care about others.
This
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result
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results
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in
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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are
Wrong verb form
being
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used to getting everything and
care
Wrong verb form
caring
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about their own feelings.
Therefore
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,they find it hard to get
alone
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along
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with peers,and they cannot win respect from others.
This
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is because they lack the capacity to understand and respect others.
For instance
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, if they do not get what they want, they will
became
Wrong verb form
become
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angry
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and ignore others’ feelings. In conclusion,
this
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educational style is harmful to satisfy
children
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’s every wish. Because it not only makes
children
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unable to deal with different
problems
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, but
also
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makes them become self-centred.So,
parents
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need to use
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
ways to educate
children
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, rather than meet all their needs.

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task response
Task response: The essay has a clear view that giving all things to kids is not good. It uses some ideas and a few cases. It needs more detail for each point and more proof. Add 1 or 2 strong examples and say how this hurts the child in the long run. Also fix small grammar errors and keep to one idea per sentence.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The work has some link words like 'Another consequence is' and 'For example'. But the flow is not smooth. Use a simple plan: short intro, 2-3 body parts, a short end. Put one idea in each paragraph. Use clear linking words like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'therefore', 'for example'.
strength
Clear stance on the topic.
strength
Some good use of linking words.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...
What to do next:
Look at other essays: