IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

its impotant for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and theirpersonal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

It is often argued that it is
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 for individuals to take
risks
Use synonyms
 in their
lives
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.
While
Linking Words
sompe
Correct your spelling
some
people
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 may hold the view that
people
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 shouldn't take
risks
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. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 both advantages and disadvantages
on
Change preposition
to
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 both topics. On the first hand,
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 a risk taker in your job may lead to
own
Verb problem
earning
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 more money by changing positions anytime.
Also
Linking Words
, their
lives
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 will not be boring because they will be in a changable jobs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
show examples
Use synonyms
lives
Add a comma
lives,
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 they will try new experiences and do a lot of activities. An empirical research conducted in 2010
demostrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 that
people
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 who
taking
Wrong verb form
take
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risks
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 and try new things
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 dopamine in their bodies will increase and they will be pleased in their life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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 who
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
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 take
risks
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their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
 will be more stable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the opportunity of facing obstacles will be lower than risk takers.
For instance
Linking Words
, the employee who doesn't change
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 job
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 probability
for
Change preposition
of
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 getting fired will
small
Verb problem
be small
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. In conclusion, there are valid arguments on both sides
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I am more inclined to believe that
people
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 should be balanced
on
Change preposition
in
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 taking
risks
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 they should consider their families and try to take
risks
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but
Correct word choice
apply
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in a normal way.

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task response
Be clear in your main view. In the intro state your view. In the end restate it. Do not stay neutral.
coherence
Work on the flow of ideas. Use simple words to link ideas and move from one idea to the next.
evidence
Use more facts or small proof for your ideas. If not, say an example.
language
Fix spelling and grammar so the meaning is clear.
content strength
The essay shows an attempt to discuss both sides.
structure strength
There are clear topic sentences and conclusion.
coherence strength
Some linking words are used.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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