IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries around the world, men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why is this happening? What are the effects on society and family life?

In the current world, having
children
Use synonyms
 is not considered a priority any longer.In some nations around the
aglobe
Correct your spelling
globe
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to have babies later on in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 without any hurry or shame whatsoever. To start with, the main cause of bearing
children
Use synonyms
 late is the issue of
education
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, men and
when
Use the right word
women
show examples
 consider studying to higher levels as a very big achievement
hence
Linking Words
forgeting
Correct your spelling
forgetting
 that
life
Use synonyms
 is more than
education
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, my elder sister Juliet has learnt
upto
Use the right word
up to
show examples
 her
Phd
Change the spelling
PhD
show examples
 in
education
Use synonyms
 just because her motto is
education
Use synonyms
 for
life
Use synonyms
. She just introduced her man recently when she was turning 38 years old.To add on, in the current world, getting a good husband or wife has become a really big challenge because of the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 are dishonest and tend to go where there is money and not love
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 results
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 broken marriages. In the past, before marriage
Punctuation problem
, suiters
show examples
suiters
Use the right word
suitors
show examples
 were examined well and ensured to be
thee
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the
show examples
 right partner . The fear of broken marriages has
therefore
Linking Words
 led
people
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 to give birth
an
Use the right word
at
show examples
 an older age because of taking too much time to learn and understand someone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
geatest
Correct your spelling
greatest
 of all to build trust. Rearing
children
Use synonyms
 later in
life
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 leads to
imbalanced
Correct article usage
an imbalanced
show examples
 community in that there will be more older
people
Use synonyms
 than the young
meaning
Punctuation problem
, meaning
show examples
 the
tradions
Correct your spelling
traditions
 will be wiped away because there will be few minors to grasp. Giving birth later in
life
Use synonyms
 will lead to families breaking up
due to
Linking Words
 the pressure
gotten
Verb problem
put
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
ones
Check wording
one's
show examples
 parents to give birth
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 yet you are not ready. In conclusion ,
upbringing
Verb problem
raising
show examples
children
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
older
Correct article usage
an older
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 us of a great danger since it will lead to
tradion
Correct your spelling
traditional
 values being passed on to fewer generations and later wiped away
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will cause
extionsion
Check wording
the extinction
show examples
 of morals and values.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question with clear facts and simple ideas. The essay should show why people have children later and what effects this may have on society and family life.
structure
Arrange the writing in a clear order: intro, two to three ideas in body, then a short conclusion.
cohesion
Put each idea in its own paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and use linking words.
grammar
Use short, plain sentences. Check grammar and verb forms. Avoid long, complex sentences.
content
Use examples that help the point. Avoid too many private stories that do not fit the topic.
content
The essay shows a clear attempt to talk about causes and effects.
structure
There is a focus on the topic throughout the text.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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