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Writing Samples
Band 4

These days many people interested in buying organic food even though it is often more expensive than conventionally produced food What are some reason people prefer organic food ? Do you think it is important to buy organic food despite the higher price?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era,
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more
Use synonyms
health conscious
Use the right word
health-conscious
show examples
because
Punctuation problem
; because
show examples
 of that, many of them are interested in buying organic
food
Use synonyms
 rather than
produced
Rephrase
conventionally produced
show examples
food
Use synonyms
, regardless of their higher price.
However
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my opinion,
due to
Linking Words
 the use of natural
fertilizers
Change the spelling
fertilisers
show examples
 for production, and
holds
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
 its richness in
nutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 are preferring to buy organic
food
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, it is crucial to consume healthy
food
Use synonyms
 in order to maintain proper
health
Use synonyms
 despite of higher price.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 are living
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle
due to
Linking Words
 the excessive
consumtation
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of processed
food
Use synonyms
 or
chemical based
Use the right word
chemical-based
show examples
 preservatives. Since
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and its mass influence on
food
Use synonyms
 information, individuals are becoming more aware about their eating habits, and
swifting
Correct your spelling
shifting
 their focus on organic
foods
Use synonyms
, which
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 natural
fertilizers
Change the spelling
fertilisers
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as kitchen waste, cow
dugs
Use the right word
dung
show examples
 to
produces
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, farmers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 natural
composite
Fix the agreement mistake
composites
show examples
 to grow the plants have better taste and quality, which eventually
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the
overall
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings
while
Linking Words
 consuming
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 are
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 to opt for organic
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, organic
food
Use synonyms
retain
Correct subject-verb agreement
retains
show examples
 its nutrients, which makes it superior for
eatable
Replace the word
edible
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, non-organic
food
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 mostly
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
 ingredients, and has
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 nutrients, which is bad for the body and in
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
show examples
 case, it leads to chronic
aliments
Use the right word
ailments
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
obseity
Correct your spelling
obesity
,
diabiates
Correct your spelling
diabetes
 and cancer. It is seen in
pratically
Correct your spelling
practice
 that
people
Use synonyms
 who
consumes
Correct subject-verb agreement
consume
show examples
 natural
foods
Use synonyms
 have
more
Correct word choice
a longer
show examples
 life
expentancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
 as compared to
the ones
Use the right word
those
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who
relies
Correct subject-verb agreement
rely
show examples
 on processed
foods
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
values
Correct subject-verb agreement
value
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 more than wealth, and are selective
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
organic
foods
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, I think that it is essential to eat organic
food
Use synonyms
 and everyone should include
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 their diet. The reason is, there is a saying that "What you eat, you shall become
"
Punctuation problem
",
show examples
and it is exactly how it affects our mental
health
Use synonyms
. Having a quality diet can enhance the
overall
Linking Words
being
Check wording
well-being
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals, which can be reflected in their personality.
whilst
Fix capitalization
Whilst
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Consuming
Fix capitalization
consuming
show examples
produced
Verb problem
processed
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 can affect our body adversely
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the efficiency of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to operate at
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 maximum capacity.
To conclude
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more
Use synonyms
health conscious
Use the right word
health-conscious
show examples
 and
swifting
Correct your spelling
shifting
 their focus
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 organic
food
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, instead
show examples
instead
Rephrase
even
show examples
of
Change preposition
though
show examples
 produced
food
Use synonyms
 eventhough of its higher price.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
Consuming
Fix capitalization
consuming
show examples
 natural
food
Use synonyms
 can have
longer
Correct word choice
longer-term
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
 the lifestyle of
Correct article usage
an individually
show examples
individually
Replace the word
individual
show examples
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 only physically but
also
Linking Words
 mentally.

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coherence
Improve the flow between ideas by using a clear plan: one main idea per paragraph and a stronger link from the intro to each body paragraph.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling. Use short, simple sentences. Break long sentences into two to avoid errors.
task response
Add clear, specific examples for each point to support your view on why people choose organic foods.
task response
Finish with a concise conclusion that restates your view and the main reason.
content
The writer shows a clear view and covers health and value of organic food.
coherence
There is an effort to use linking words to connect ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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