IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the Internet has positive points, while others say it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In
rapidly
Correct article usage
a rapidly
show examples
 changing world, lifestyles have changed over the years, and some people believe that
this
Linking Words
 modern way of
life
Use synonyms
 has negative consequences for family
life
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is important to
acknowladge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
 that
contemparary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
lifestyle
Use synonyms
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 certain benefits, I consider that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 trend
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the advantages. First and foremost, one of the notable
indication
Fix the agreement mistake
indications
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
life
Use synonyms
 is social media. Excessive use of social media can cause addiction and a sedentary
lifestyle
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in terms of children.
For instance
Linking Words
, parents face numerous
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 with
this
Linking Words
 problem, given that children become reluctant to their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and social
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
weaken
Correct subject-verb agreement
weakens
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 family bonds and reduces
meaninful comminication
Correct your spelling
meaningful communication
 among family members.
Additionally
Linking Words
, constant exposure to social networking sites decreases self-confidence in individuals. It can be exemplified by the fact that sometimes even seeing people who have a better
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 or better body structure leads
to some people
Correct word order
some people to
show examples
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 inadequacy and dissatisfaction with themselves.
Consequently
Linking Words
, all of these lead to psychological problems
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 anxiety, chronic stress depression.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some changes that
do
Verb problem
are
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 not appropriate
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 decades.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the past years, styles, music, culture and thoughts
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
complately
Correct your spelling
completely
 different
comparising
Correct your spelling
compared
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 world and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 caused
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
misunderstanding
Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings
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 between family members.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays
childreen
Correct your spelling
children
 want more liberty and parents' traditional upbringing prevents them from understanding certain modern viewpoints. İn
this
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 negative attitudes and conflicts may arise between parents and children. İn conlusion,
while
Linking Words
contemperary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 has certain
benefits
Punctuation problem
benefits,
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
 leads to so many negative effects.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 maintaining balance between modern
life
Use synonyms
 and traditional family habits is the key factor
of preserve
Change preposition
in preserving
show examples
 family bonds.

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content
Be clear on your view in the opening and again in the end. Make sure you answer both parts of the task fully.
coherence
Make the paragraphs more clear. Start each paragraph with a strong line that shows its point, and use simple words to link ideas.
language
Give more exact examples. Check spelling and grammar to help readers understand.
content
You show a clear view that modern life can affect family life in a bad way.
structure
There is an effort to compare two sides of the issue.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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