Write a letter to the singer. In your letter: -say how you feel about his/her performance -give details of your music related activities -explain how you would like him/her to help you with your music-related activities

Dear Karan Aujla, Hope you are doing well.I am writing
this
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letter to let you know that
i
Fix capitalization
I
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am your big fan. I got a chance to attend your recent concert
at
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in
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Toronto
last
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week. I got
mesmerized
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mesmerised
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with
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by
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you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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performance as it
takes
Wrong verb form
took
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me
to
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back to
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my teenage memories.
However
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,
i
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I
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am
also
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a
music
Use synonyms
passionate person and
loves
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love
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to play guitar. After my graduation,
i
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I
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started to work for a
music
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company in concerts and
music
Use synonyms
events. Luckily, they promoted me and
transfer
Wrong verb form
transferred
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me to Alberta for my
hard-work
Use the right word
hard work
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and dedication
for
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to
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my
music
Use synonyms
.
Also
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,
i
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I
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came to know about your upcoming shows in Alberta next month. As
i
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I
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am moving to Alberta next week, it will be
really
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a really
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great start for me in
new
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my new
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place with your concerts. I would really appreciate
if
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it if
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you
give
Verb problem
could give
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this
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contract to my company and help me
to
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apply
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start at
new
Correct article usage
a new
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place. I am attaching my company details and other information with
this
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e-mail. Hope you will consider it and contact us soon. Yours faithfully, Simran Kharoud

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task response
Be clear on your main goal in the start. Say what you want from him in a simple line.
coherence and cohesion
Make one idea per paragraph. Use a new paragraph for a new idea.
style
Use plain words and short sentences so all can read.
tone
Nice start with a warm tone to the singer.
content
You tell your work in music and move to a new place clearly.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
What to do next:
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