IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

The line graph illustrates information from a 2008 report about
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
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 of energy in the USA since
1980
Punctuation problem
1980,
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 with projections until 2030. In the USA, petrol and oil are the most widely used for energy production, followed by coal and natural gas. At the bottom, nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower over the period. Starting at 35
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 of energy consumption by petrol and oil in 1980, the figure increased gradually to 40
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 about 30 years later. The trend will rise steadily to nearly 50
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 in 2030. Coal and natural gas began at nearly 20
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980, a trend
which
Correct word choice
that
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then
Linking Words
 rose slowly to 25
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 35 years later. After that, coal will grow steadily to 30
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 in 2030, but natural gas will remain relatively stable. Starting at about 4
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980, these figures for hydropower and solar/wind will remain nearly unchanged over the period. There is a gradual increase in nuclear
from
Check wording
power from
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 1980 to 2030.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quadrillion, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Renewable resources
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Nuclear power
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Biomass
  • Consumption patterns
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Sustainable development
  • Carbon footprint
  • Energy policy
  • Projections
  • Decade
  • Significant shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Environmental impact
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