IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are many factors that
people
Use synonyms
 take into account before they choose where to stay. There has been an ongoing debate on whether residing
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
metropolis is better or staying in the countryside is more beneficial. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both the views and provide my opinion. On the one hand, it is clearly evident that the process of urbanisation has been rapid for more than two decades.
People
Use synonyms
 have been moving to cities for better opportunities, literacy and
also
Linking Words
 for health care benefits.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 are opting for capital
life
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 because it aids in the nuclear family system and provides more privacy.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 buy flats and stay for better privacy rather than holding on to the joint family system , and the education system is wide when it comes to the city. With better schooling comes better career prospects that can shape the future. Children and youngsters have more exposure to the wider world and can choose their future
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are
people
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 who prefer to live in the countryside for a
quality
Correct word choice
better quality
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 of
life
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. Especially the older generation
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
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 the outskirts
or
Use the right word
of
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 their native place as they get a sense of belongingness. Elderly
people
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 who were born and raised in a village love the tranquillity within the limited resources available.
For instance
Linking Words
, folk who went to different cities or countries to earn better, prefer to settle there after retirement in their village of origin for a harmonious
life
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, away from the hustle and bustle of city
life
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. In conclusion, residing in a city or the countryside has its own pros and cons. In my opinion, cities do offer several advantages in terms of education, jobs and health care, but at the same
village
Check wording
time
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 provide community bonding and quality of
life
Use synonyms
.

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Task Response
Be clear in your view. State your opinion in a simple way, and make it the last line of your conclusion so the reader sees it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Build ideas with clear links. Use small join words like also, and, but, so, for example. Make one idea per paragraph and keep a good flow from one sentence to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check the small grammar and word form. Fix mistakes like 'family are' to 'families are', 'capital life' to 'city life', and add 'the countryside' instead of 'village' to be clear.
Content
The essay talks about both sides and ends with an opinion.
Structure
The essay has a simple and clear overall plan: intro, two body parts and a conclusion.
Content
Some good examples are used, like ' flats for privacy' to show city life.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
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