IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There is an increasingly prevalent trend worldwide of
people
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 moving away from the
country side
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countryside
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 to live in bigger
cites
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cities
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. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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this
Linking Words
 is a very worrying phenomenon, as it causes problems within agriculture and affects the
life
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apply
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quality of
people
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. Agricultural production is the first and foremost pillar of the supply chain of alimentation. Generally speaking, both crops and farmlands are located in the
countyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
. With
people
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 moving away, there is a major dip in
available
Correct article usage
the available
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 workforce within agriculture, causing problems in food production. A great example of
this
Linking Words
 is the increasing price of corn in many first-world countries. What once used to be a crop grown entirely locally is now largely imported, showing the toll of relocation on agriculture. Looking at the problem from
an other
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another
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 angle, we can see that many major cities now experience
overpopluation
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overpopulation
. It is evident that with an increase in population density, the quality of life declines rapidly. As cities are more crowded, there is less space for green areas, residential zones and
people
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-centric architecture. Considering Cairo, one of the world's most
densly
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densely
 populated cities, we can clearly see the lack of sustainable architecture and
dedicaded
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dedicated
 spaces for
leasure
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leisure
 and
well being
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well-being
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. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 process of city-centric relocation and shifts in the
poputaion
Correct your spelling
population
 density of certain areas
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 creates major problems within the agricultural supply chain and affects the quality of life of
people
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 directly.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is very important to take steps in regulating or
offseting
Correct your spelling
offsetting
this
Linking Words
 trend in innovative ways.

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coherence
Use more clear links to show how each point connects to your main claim.
content
Give one strong example for each point and explain how it has effect on people and land.
language
Check and fix small spelling and grammar mistakes that hide meaning.
structure
Stick to one idea per paragraph and end with a clear plan for how to deal with the issue.
perspective
You take a clear view that the trend is not good.
structure
The essay has a clear start and end, with an intro and a conclusion.
content
You use both farming and life in city as reasons.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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