IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, people are choosing to live alone rather than with their families. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, individuals have decided to live far away from their relatives. I strongly believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development because
people
Use synonyms
 might develop independence and become mature individuals. One positive development is that
people
Use synonyms
 might become more independent, so they will have the opportunity to make their own decisions in life. If they want to live in a house or just rent a small apartment,
so
Rephrase
apply
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they will have the opportunity to see what works better for them. Another aspect is that they will come home at any time without letting anybody
to
Verb problem
apply
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knwo
Correct your spelling
know
 where they are.
For instance
Linking Words
, two or three families who live under one roof, when they go out, they need to inform others what time they come home because their relatives might be
concerend
Correct your spelling
concerned
 about them. Another positive aspect is that these individuals will become mature in life because they will know the cost of living, so they might appreciate what
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 parents have done for them. Nowadays, the vast majority of couples need to work both of them because
apartment's
Check wording
apartment
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 rent is more expensive than before.
Also
Linking Words
, they need to learn how to deal with other
typer
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types
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 of
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
 like
trafic
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traffic
 congestion
on
Change preposition
during
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 peak hours. To illustrate, when
people
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 go to work, they deal with stressful situations on the freeway that many of them drive more than an hour to get to work
place
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workplace
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
people
Use synonyms
 who decide to live far from their relatives have better chances to become independent and mature citizens because they need to
take
Use the right word
make
show examples
 daily decisions that will help them to become better citizens.

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structure
Plan before you write. Use one clear topic for each paragraph and begin with a topic sentence that states the point.
language
Fix common spelling and grammar errors. Use simple words and check misspelled words.
content
Give stronger and more clear examples for each point. Explain how independence comes from living alone, not just say it.
style
Make links between ideas more clear. Use simple connect words like First, Also, But, So, However.
idea
It has a clear view that living apart can be good.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body and end.
content
Some examples are used to show points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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