Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a children's development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both advantages of each method and give your own opinion.

As different techniques for teaching
school
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children
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develops
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develop
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, there is a rising argument between whether it is more beneficial to educate kids at home or
taking
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take
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them to
school
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.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
each side has enough benefits, I believe that from
the
Correct article usage
a
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young age it is essential to make
children
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more sociable with their peers and
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
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them to go to
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. On the one hand, homeschooling can offer a strong individual approach for teachers and guardians. For
students
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who are shy and introverted, it is difficult to get on well with classmates and to join different group
discussoins
Correct your spelling
discussions
in
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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school
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system;
however
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, with homeschooling
pupils
Punctuation problem
, pupils
show examples
could have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to ask
deaper
Correct your spelling
deeper
questions without any hesitation
form
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from
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their teachers.
Moreover
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, educators
also
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find it easy to identify learning gaps of
students
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and to support them individually.
For example
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, in
majority
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the majority
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of average labelled classes in the world, around 30% of
school
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students
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do not perform well during lessons since they do to feel comfortable
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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socially. Which means, being educated at home is
also
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important
Correct article usage
an important
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approach in
education
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the education
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system
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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for
the ones
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those
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who feel isolated
with
Change preposition
from
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their classmates.
On the other hand
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,
school
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education not only
help
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helps
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with
students
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' academic skills, but it
also
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contributes personal nourishment of
children
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in their everyday life. Specifically, soft skills like empathy, understanding others'
opinion
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opinions
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and showing tolerance
is
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are
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built when pupils attend
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their classes and interact with their peers.
Additionally
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, different
school
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activites
Correct your spelling
activities
enable
children
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to work in a team and create a very strong fundamental for their future career.
For instance
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, research findings show that basic steps of
temwork
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teamwork
and leadership skills in any person
develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
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while
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studying at
school
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. And those points make encouraging
students
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to go to
school
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to study one of the most crucial points in upbringing. In conclusion, teaching
school
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children
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at home may provide some benefits for certain gaps;
nevertheless
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, it is important for youngsters to be surrounded by their peers and
glowing
Verb problem
challenge
show examples
themselves academically at the same time.

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clarity
Make the main idea clear in each paragraph. State your view in one short sentence in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Fix errors like deeper, discussions, team, activities, etc. Use simple words and short sentences.
structure
Use more simple connect words to link ideas: firstly, however, on the other hand, in addition.
examples
Give specific and clear examples for each point. Use a real or simple example.
style
Keep a steady tone and avoid long run on sentences; use short sentences to make meaning clear.
structure
Clear layout with introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion.
content
Attempts to discuss both views and give own view.
coherence
Uses some useful linkage and examples.
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