IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers. some people believe we should buy food from local farmer to protect the environment and support local businesses. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often argued that some individuals believe that buying food from local
farmers
Use synonyms
 to protect the environment and support local communities is more
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, others believe that giant stores have
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
 variety of goods and it is more convenient for consumers to buy different items ( food, chemicals and machines) in
there
Use the right word
them
show examples
 in order to save time. Personally, I believe that buying from local suppliers provides a lot of benefits : environmental, social and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
. Nowadays, the local
farmers
Use synonyms
 are more trustworthy in the eyes of a customer when it comes to
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritional
show examples
 value and biodiversity.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the megastores have a
big
Correct word choice
wide
show examples
 variety of perfectly and unnaturally looking vegetables and fruits, which are shying because of vaseline and chemicals.
However
Linking Words
, the local produce is less likely to spoil because of transportation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the food waste is
also
Linking Words
 being
resumed
Verb problem
reused
show examples
 by animals in the farms.
In addition
Linking Words
, the local businesses
protects
Correct subject-verb agreement
protect
show examples
 the environment by not leaving
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 carbon footprint
due to
Linking Words
 thousands of miles of
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
. Another compelling point is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the local
farmers
Use synonyms
 have a significant impact on the economy of the country. What is more important
that
Verb problem
is that
show examples
 it gives more working places in smaller towns or villages. From the business perspective, it is
also
Linking Words
making
Verb problem
creating
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher competition in the market, which provides customers with
bigger
Correct word choice
a wider
show examples
 variety of places to shop and higher quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products. In conclusion, the aforementioned reasons I believe that the local
farmers
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a positive influence on the economy and environment in general.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I believe that a balanced approach is
therefore
Linking Words
 required, and both of the mentioned options are good from different angles.

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strength
Have a clear view in the first line and keep it to the end.
tip
Explain both sides with the same care.
tip
Add one or two real facts or examples from real life, like a local market or a big shop.
tip
Make four parts: intro, body 1, body 2, and end.
tip
Fix grammar and word form errors, like 'nutritional value' and 'have' with 'local farmers'.
tip
Use simple and clear words only.
strength
Clear idea on why local food can be good for env and money.
strength
Good use of paragraphs to group ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • local economy
  • self-sustainability
  • preservatives
  • food waste
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • monoculture
  • local produce
  • nutritional value
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