IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that working from home is more beneficial for employees, while others believe that it reduces productivity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
people
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 think that working from
home
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 is more beneficial for
employees
Punctuation problem
employees,
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while
Linking Words
 others believe that it reduces productivity.Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scenarios have their pros and cons that will be elaborated in our discussion below.
Firstly
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,Remote job was
introducted
Correct your spelling
introduced
 in the world during
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
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 to avoid
,
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apply
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physical interaction to prevent disease.
People
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 got comfortable with the
idea
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 of staying at
home
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,working from their bedrooms in a relaxed environment.Some
people
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 support the
idea
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 of remote jobs that way they can save their cost of travelling and can
work
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 at
home
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while
Linking Words
 enjoying their breakfast.
People
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 promote
such
Linking Words
 settings to have income and leisure side by side.During
break
Correct article usage
the break
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,you can spend time with your family members. Contrary to its advantage,the major disadvantage
to
Change preposition
of
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remote
Correct article usage
a remote
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 job is minimal social interaction and
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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 lifestyle.The quality of
work
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 is
also
Linking Words
 compromised.
People
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 become lethargic and unorganised
while
Linking Words
 staying at
home
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.In
office
Correct article usage
an office
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 environment is
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
,
hence
Linking Words
people
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work
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 effectively to get promotion and limelight in the office.Several events and meetings help
people
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 to interact with one another
which
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, which
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 brings a sense of unity. I would like
to conclude
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 with the
idea
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Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, according
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according
Verb problem
considering
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 to pros and
cons
Punctuation problem
cons,
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 I have a neutral approach towards the
idea
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 of
work
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 from
home
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.I strongly support the
idea
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 of
hybrid
Correct article usage
a hybrid
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 job
to
Verb problem
apply
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in order to have outstanding output and social development.

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content
Plan your essay first by mapping the two views and your own opinion in the end.
structure
Make each paragraph start with a clear topic sentence and keep one main idea per paragraph.
cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas (for example: 'on the one hand', 'however', 'in addition', 'therefore').
language
Check spelling and grammar. Fix common errors you used: 'introduced', 'competitive', 'In office environment is'; make full sentences.
language
Use simple, short sentences. Keep words in common use and avoid long phrases.
content
Add more specific examples to support points, such as data or concrete situations (cost saved, time saved, impact on teamwork).
content
The essay shows an attempt to cover both sides and ends with an opinion.
coherence
Some use of link words and signposts helps flow.
structure
The structure follows a familiar essay form with introduction, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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