IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The number of refugees and immigrants is increasing. what are the possible causes and effects of this? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Immigration has become a topic of discussion in recent times as there
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
 to be an increase in the number of refugees in some
countries
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elucidate the causes and
its effect
Fix the agreement mistake
their effects
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The
migration
Use synonyms
 from one
country
Use synonyms
 to another can be
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 various reasons
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 a scholarship to study overseas, for better health care, and in severe
cases
Punctuation problem
cases,
show examples
 to find refuge in developed
countries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in most cases, people migrate to other
countries
Use synonyms
 for employment purposes. A research study on
migration
Use synonyms
 showed that 75% of migrants are those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 move to seek better job opportunities. In some developing
countries
Use synonyms
, where there is
absence
Correct article usage
an absence
show examples
 of proper infrastructure and the allocation of funds by the government to the appropriate sectors is mismanaged,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to be a rise in
migration
Use synonyms
 of citizens to other
countries
Use synonyms
 with a functioning system.
For example
Linking Words
, nurses in Nigeria migrate to other
countries
Use synonyms
 like the United States and Europe for better employment.
Migration
Use synonyms
 may be beneficial to the individuals involved
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
then
Linking Words
 there are a few drawbacks it
deals
Verb problem
has
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society at large.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when there is
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youths leaving a
Use synonyms
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 it affects the
country
Use synonyms
's productivity.
For instance
Linking Words
, a case where
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the health workers in a
country
Use synonyms
 have a high tendency
of migrating
Change preposition
to migrate
show examples
, it negatively affects the health sector as there would be limited workers in hospitals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
migration
Use synonyms
 to other
countries
Use synonyms
 can cause overcrowding in rural areas
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can in turn lead to other problems
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 pollution, traffic and an
overall
Linking Words
 inflation in the economy.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
migration
Use synonyms
 has many benefits to individuals in need
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it does have some drawbacks.

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language
Fix grammar and tune the language to be clear and easy to read.
content
Add more exact facts and examples to show cause and effect.
structure
Make each idea short and connected with good link words.
organization
The essay has a clear start and end.
content
It gives real examples, like nurses from Nigeria.
balance
It tries to show both good and bad sides.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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