IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the graph below shows the amounts of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years. Summarize the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph describes different
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 produced by three different companies, from 2000 to 2015. From an
overall
Linking Words
 view, two companies have a decreasing trend
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the third one has an opposite increasing amount of produced wastes, over
this
Linking Words
15 years
Correct your spelling
15-year
 period Looking at details, in
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 A produced the highest amount of
waste
Use synonyms
, followed by a progressive reduction from 12
tonnes
Use synonyms
 to almost 8
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
company
Use synonyms
 B produced almost 8
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 during 2000, followed by a progressive increase with a peak of 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and a subsequent gradual decline
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2015. Oppositely,
company
Use synonyms
 C produced 4
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 in 2000, with a progressive increase over the
15-years
Fix the agreement mistake
15-year
show examples
 period, reaching the amount of 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2015. It can be concluded that,
while
Linking Words
 in 2000
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
part
Check wording
apply
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the wastes
show examples
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 was produced by
company
Use synonyms
 A, in 2015 it was produced by
company
Use synonyms
 C.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tonnes, waste, company with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: