IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to solve the world‘s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 world, a rapid proliferation of climate change and environmental pollution has become a serious issue. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that increasing the
fuel
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 is the only effective way to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 menace,
whereas
Linking Words
 others argue that other measures
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as using electric
cars
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of gasoline
vehicles
Punctuation problem
vehicles,
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 would be more beneficial.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that
this
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 method alone is not sufficient to manoeuvre
this
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 gigantic problem
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 other measures must be taken by the government
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will be discussed in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, one of the peculiar
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 of surging
fuel
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 might discourage themselves from using their
cars
Use synonyms
 on
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
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 basis.
In other words
Linking Words
, if
prices
Use synonyms
 for
fuel
Use synonyms
 are exceedingly high,
people
Use synonyms
 will become overly reluctant
from using
Change preposition
to use
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 their
cars
Use synonyms
 and may start opting the options like carpooling.
Instead
Linking Words
 of commuting by
Use synonyms
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
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, individuals will be more inclined towards buses and trains where they can travel
with
Change preposition
at
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 a reasonable
fair
Use the right word
fare
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if a person cannot easily afford a substantial amount of money for
fuel
Use synonyms
, he will definitely start
less
Verb problem
consuming less
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consumption
Check wording
apply
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as well.
Hence
Linking Words
, it would be a better solution to some extent.
However
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,
although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 may avert themselves from commuting by
Use synonyms
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
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due to
Linking Words
fuel
Use synonyms
 consumption, it would be
overly
Correct article usage
an overly
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 financial burden on
low-scale income
Replace the word
low-income
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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. To be more precise, when low and
middle class
Use the right word
middle-class
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people
Use synonyms
 who always reach their offices and do their work
while
Linking Words
 commuting by their own vehicles, exorbitant
fuel
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 can put them into financial troubles
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can
further
Linking Words
 take them
on
Change preposition
to
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 the brink of destruction.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a person works as
a
Correct article usage
an
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 Uber professional driver, and
using
Wrong verb form
uses
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 his own car to pick and drop passengers, his income would be less
as
Change preposition
apply
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compared to his expenses on his car because of high
fuel
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, he might feel himself under pressure and take any wrong decision
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as suicide
since
Punctuation problem
, since
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 he is unable to survive in
this
Linking Words
 materialistic world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, mushrooming
prices
Use synonyms
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
 can make the situation more precarious. In conclusion, it is crystal clear that
this
Linking Words
 measure alone cannot be sufficient to eradicate the environmental problem to a greater extent. By adopting other measures
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as using electric
cars
Use synonyms
 in place of gas vehicles
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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also
Linking Words
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 can levy hefty taxes on gasoline
cars
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 that
people
Use synonyms
resist themselves
Verb problem
refrain
show examples
 from purchasing them. In order to manage environmental global issues, only one measure would not be effective
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 government and individuals should join their hands together to ameliorate
this
Linking Words
 issue.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a clear view in the first line. Then give 2 or 3 big ideas with simple proof.
grammar
Use simple and correct grammar. Check verbs and s plurals. Aim for plain form and short sentences.
focus
Keep to the task. Do not talk on other ideas not in the prompt. Each part should link to your view.
content
Be careful with strong or sad examples. If you use a tough example, make sure it fits the point and is treated with care.
coherence
Use linking words to show cause and contrast. This helps the flow of ideas.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body and end.
tone
You state your view and keep it.
coherence
Good use of linking words like however and in conclusion.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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