The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego County and California and the rest of the world

The pie charts
illustrates
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illustrate
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information about the
consumption
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of water
three
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in three
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sectors, namely
residental
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residential
, industry and
agriculture
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in San Diego County and California and the rest of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, San Diego
country
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county
show examples
and California
residental
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residential
part have the highest proportion,
while
Linking Words
in the rest of the world
agriculture
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category ranks first. With regard to the San
Diago Country
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Diego County
show examples
,
residental
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residential
accounting for the largest water
consumption
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at 60%. Industrial part ranks second at 33%, which is slightly larger than
agriculture
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by a narrow margin
fo
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of
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5%. Turning to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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California,
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the residental
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residental
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residential
area has the highest share at 39%,
while
Linking Words
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agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
sector
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
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the lowest
consumption
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with 28%, as the latter ranks
last
Linking Words
.
Finally
Linking Words
, in terms of the
thierd
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third
chart,
residental
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residential
part has the highest
wated
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water
consumption
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at 69%, which is three times larger
the
Change preposition
than the
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industrial
consumprion
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consumption
.
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Agriculture
Correct article usage
The agriculture
show examples
sector is approximately
as
Rephrase
apply
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1/3 as
larger
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large
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as
industrial
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the industrial
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category,
as
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with
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the
firmer
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former
show examples
accounting for 8%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, agriculture with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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