Band 9: In the advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Advertisment

Correct your spelling

Advertising

has always been a topic of debate in

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

world

Use synonyms

. Nowadays,

dvertising

Correct your spelling

advertising

companies every now and

then

Linking Words

argue that their

products

Use synonyms

are modern in several

methods

Check wording

ways

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will outline the possible reasons for

this

Linking Words

approach, and in my opinion,

this

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

detrimental not only for individuals but

also

Linking Words

for societies, mainly because it can increase consumerism.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are many reasons that advertising

compaines

Correct your spelling

companies

show

products

Use synonyms

attractive

Replace the word

attractively

show examples

, as they are showing in different factors.

Firstly

Linking Words

, firms have to

compite

Correct your spelling

compete

in domestic and global product markets, which

cause

Verb problem

leads

show examples

industries

lead

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to show their

products

Use synonyms

in different strategies throughout either social media,

such

Linking Words

as Instagram and

TikTak

Correct your spelling

TikTok

, or billboards in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crowded locations. The second reason is enhancing

firms

Check wording

firms'

show examples

preformances

Correct your spelling

performances

, which shows in financial reporting, and

thus

Linking Words

, increasing their gross profits. Apple

smart phone

Use the right word

smartphone

show examples

for example

Linking Words

, the more

advertisment

Correct your spelling

advertisements

they have

arounf

Correct your spelling

around

the

world

Use synonyms

, the more customers they have,

growing

Verb problem

increasing

show examples

the level of sales and gains.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

this

Linking Words

approach is a negative development among people and communities. With regard to the former group, advertising forces individuals to expose

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

productions

Check wording

artificial and hidden needs

show examples

, as they reveal

individuals

Check wording

individuals'

show examples

artifical

Correct your spelling

artificial

and hidden needs.

Adverising

Correct your spelling

Advertising

a celebrity in a billboard in the heart of

the

Correct article usage

show examples

large city,

for instance

Linking Words

, who

wear

Correct subject-verb agreement

wears

show examples

a branded smart watch can

reveals

Wrong verb form

reveal

show examples

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation

Check wording

generation's

show examples

artificial needs.

Regaeding

Correct your spelling

Regarding

the latter,

advertisment

Correct your spelling

is a main reason for

societies

Check wording

society's

show examples

consumerism, wasting the resources either financial or materials,

such

Linking Words

as metal, gold, silver and other items. If people buy

unnececary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

products

Use synonyms

, the communities will

communities will

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

Change preposition

in crises

show examples

crises

Fix the agreement mistake

crisis

show examples

in the future

due to

Linking Words

decreasing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the natural resources in the

world

Use synonyms

, and

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend is not

ceo-friendly

Correct your spelling

eco-friendly

. In conclusion, in today's fast-paced

world

Use synonyms

advertising

Punctuation problem

, advertising

show examples

try

Correct subject-verb agreement

tries

show examples

to show the

products

Use synonyms

diver

Use the right word

different

show examples

ways

due to

Linking Words

compite

Correct your spelling

competition

in markets,

while

Linking Words

I strongly believe that

tis

Correct your spelling

this

approach has many drawbacks, leading

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

to buy

unnesesary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

things and societies to consumerism.

ghaderi.gh

Feb 23, 2026

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language

Fix many spelling and grammar errors to help the reader. Use simple and correct forms.

coherence

Make one main idea in each paragraph and link them with clear words like first, also, but, finally.

content

Provide full ideas; explain why your point is true with a direct example.

style

Use simple words; avoid long or unsure phrases.

vocabulary

Check spellings of common words and fix mistakes like advertising, competition, resources.

structure

End with a short, strong conclusion that repeats your view.

stance

The writer shows a clear view against the idea of many ads.

content

There is at least one real example (Apple) to show a point.

content

Some points are on topic and related to the prompt.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Band 9: In the advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world’s facing today.What are the cause of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tabletd there is no need to go to the cinema. Others says that to fully enjoy, go to cinema. Discuss both views and provide your opinion?

Most people think about creating an ideal society, but most of the time fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society?