IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts give information about two genres of TV programes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia

The bar chart provides a comparison of who
watch
Correct subject-verb agreement
watches
show examples
reality
Use synonyms
 shows and who
watch
Correct subject-verb agreement
watches
show examples
game
Use synonyms
 shows the most between males and females over the age
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 16
years
Use synonyms
 old to 45
years
Use synonyms
 old and more .
Overall
Linking Words
 , a clear upward trend is evident in
Correct article usage
the females
show examples
females
Fix the agreement mistake
female
show examples
 group who watch TV shows based on
reality
Use synonyms
 than the males ,
while
Linking Words
game
Use synonyms
 shows remained relatively stable for
both
Use synonyms
 genders.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
45
Correct your spelling
45-year-old
years
Use synonyms
 old people recorded the highest figures in
both
Use synonyms
 types of show . In
reality
Use synonyms
 shows , women stood at 70%, which was higher than men at approximately 35% .
By contrast
Linking Words
 , the group age for 45+
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the highest at almost 70% in
both
Use synonyms
 shows. under Meanwhile , the age between 25-44 categories showed a huge decrease in the
game
Use synonyms
 shows compared to the
reality
Use synonyms
 show , as they recorded 60% and 65%
then
Linking Words
 declined to 38% and 40% for the
game
Use synonyms
 shows .
In addition
Linking Words
 , group 16-24
years
Use synonyms
 old remained almost unchanged for
both
Use synonyms
 categories .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reality, game, years, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 11 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • viewership trends
  • genre
  • comparative analysis
  • distribution
  • notable deviations
  • cultural influences
  • societal factors
  • predictive trends
  • viewing preferences
  • target audience
  • popularity metrics
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