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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

There has been an unending debate on whether students should be given the opportunity to
study
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 whatever they like or must
be
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only be given the freedom to
study
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 the STEM subjects that prove beneficial for the future. Personally, I believe learners should have the liberty to make choices, as it instils in them a sense of motivation and confidence to deal with the challenging world. A certain lot believes that choosing the subject of choice helps in
confidence building
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confidence-building
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. As youngsters face many situations in their everyday life that tend to obscure their thinking, by polishing their belief system, they would feel a sense of empowerment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students will generally experience a sense of fulfilment as they acquire knowledge and apply it to their lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent
study
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 in Britain showed that an increased number of pupils excelled in their
career
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careers
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 once they selected their own academic
interest
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interests
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. Undoubtedly, freedom of selection targets the youth’s holistic development.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are people who negate the idea by speaking in favour of scientific studies. With the rapid surge in
the
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technological advancement, human beings need to be equipped with the latest trends in ever
evolving
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ever-evolving
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 world, so that they can cope well with the pressures of the new era. In order to achieve that, they must
only select
Correct word order
select only
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 academics linked to science and technology.
For example
Linking Words
, the field of robotics has made an immense contribution to
the
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apply
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society in Japan
as a result
Linking Words
 of a majority of the youth opting for empirical subjects.
To conclude
Linking Words
, taking everything into account, I would argue that opting for
interest based
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interest-based
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 academic
study
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 moulds one’s personality.
Although
Linking Words
,
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 advanced level of
study
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 tends to prepare the young mind for the futuristic world, it is restricting human choice and freedom.

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task response
Keep ideas balanced. Explain both views with similar depth and end with a clear view.
structure
Use clear topic sentences and short sentences. Break long lines into two parts.
examples
Give more real and exact examples, with dates or place names, to back up points.
vocabulary
Check word choice. Use easy words and avoid too hard terms.
coherence
Link ideas with clear transitions like firstly, on the other hand, in addition, therefore.
task response
Clear stance and opinion is stated.
coherence
Good sign of structure: intro, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence
The essay uses linking words to show connections.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivation
  • Well-rounded education
  • Critical thinking
  • Job markets
  • Economic demand
  • Skilled workers
  • Practical application
  • Innovation
  • Societal progress
  • Passion
  • Pragmatism
  • Future job prospects
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