IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of the population aged 65 and over in three countriesbetween 1940 and 2040

The line graph illustrates the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and over in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, andJapan
show examples
andJapan fiom
Correct your spelling
and Japan from
 1940 to 2040. 
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of old
people
Use synonyms
 in
Japanexperienced
Correct your spelling
Japan experienced
 the most dramatic change among all types.
By contrast
Linking Words
, those in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Correct article usage
the USAshowed
show examples
USAshowed
Correct your spelling
USA showed
 moderate growth. Before the year 2000, it is notable that the percentage of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 aged 65 years and over
inUSA
Correct your spelling
in the USA
 had the highest figure
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
more
Verb problem
was more
show examples
 than
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
theproportion
Correct your spelling
the proportion
 of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 accounted for the lowest.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
andSweden
Correct your spelling
and Sweden
 showed a trend that first rose and
then
Linking Words
 fell. At around the year 2000, the two
linesintersected
Correct your spelling
lines intersected
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 point
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 14%.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
, those in
Japan
Use synonyms
 saw a trend
thatfrst
Correct your spelling
that first
 decreased and
then
Linking Words
 increased. After the year 2000, it is obvious that there was a marked
climbed
Replace the word
climb
show examples
 in the percentage of
peopleaged
Correct your spelling
people aged
 65 years and over in
Japan
Use synonyms
,
finally
Linking Words
 reaching the highest point at approximately 27% in 2040.In the same period, the growth rate of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
exceed
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
 that of
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 after the
pointat
Correct your spelling
point
 14%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, usa, sweden, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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