IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that to solve a problem of traffic congestions the government needs to provide free and 24/7 public transport To what extent you agree or disagree?

Large
Correct article usage
A large
show examples
 number of
people
Use synonyms
 around the world admit that in order to address the issues of traffic jams, the heads of the country should provide
costless
Correct word choice
free
show examples
 and 24/7 public
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it may fix the current problem, the
caused consequences
Correct word order
consequences caused
show examples
 can
make
Verb problem
lead
show examples
up
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other more substantial complications.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 for that will be explained in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, providing inhabitants with
round a clock
Use the right word
round-the-clock
show examples
 and
unpaid
Correct word choice
free
show examples
 public transport may
sole
Use the right word
solve
show examples
 the issues of traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, offering
such
Linking Words
facility
Correct article usage
a facility
show examples
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the quantity of private cars, since the cars became a necessity for
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 around the world because public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is not convenient enough in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries.
For example
Linking Words
, in
India
Add a comma
India,
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 the railway systems are so poorly managed that trains
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
 the
tripled
Verb problem
apply
show examples
number of
people
Use synonyms
 almost in each station.
Additionally
Linking Words
, providing
human-beings
Use the right word
human beings
show examples
 with
round
Check wording
apply
show examples
a clock public
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
show examples
 system can
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the accidents
occurred
Wrong verb form
that occur
show examples
at late
Correct word order
late at
show examples
nights
Fix the agreement mistake
night
show examples
. On the
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 hand, turning public
transportation
Use synonyms
 into free and 24/7 can bring a crisis to the country. Since the authentic public
transportation
Use synonyms
 involves a substantial group of
people
Use synonyms
, the salary for them cannot be allocated from the own treasury of the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, free public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is barely possible.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the 24/7 public
transportation
Use synonyms
 causes serious
sicknesses
Use the right word
illnesses
show examples
on
Change preposition
among
show examples
 employees. As 24/7 will
be probably
Correct word order
probably be
show examples
 divided
in to
Use the right word
into
show examples
 2 parts, day and night, the condition of workers who will regularly work at night will not be healthy. Since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 not getting sleep at night
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
largely affects the hormones and the work of the brain. In conclusion, despite
that round a clock
Use the right word
the round-the-clock
show examples
 and costless public
transportation
Use synonyms
 systems can address the issues related to traffic jams,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 some more serious consequences. Plus, the implementation of
this
Linking Words
 view is quite
complicating
Replace the word
complicated
show examples
 with salaries being an obstacle.
Overall
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view
due to
Linking Words
 the negative sides it brings.

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organization
Plan start with a short intro that states your view. Then write two body paragraphs with one main idea each and finish with a brief conclusion.
grammar
Use only common, simple words. Fix common mistakes like 'On the others hand' and 'round a clock' to clearer, real phrases.
content
Give more strong reasons and clear facts. Include more exact examples to back ideas.
coherence
Use linking words well, like First, Also, However, and Finally, so ideas flow.
task response
Be sure your conclusion restates your view and sums up the main points.
task response
Your position is clear in the introduction and kept in the end.
coherence
You add two main ideas to back your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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