IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, more and more adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is undeniable that folks started living with their families
instead
Linking Words
 of moving to other places after getting jobs and completing
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
thais
Correct your spelling
this
 has demerits, I believe that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
 are manifold. On the one hand, I would argue that staying
within
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 with
parents
Use synonyms
 is more comfortable and
easy
Replace the word
easier
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 can
saves
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of money
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is not possible if a
person
Use synonyms
 is living outside of
home
Use synonyms
 on rent. There will be huge
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
 on bills which won’t be possible
otherwise
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 can enjoy time more freely because he/she
has
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
to
Verb problem
have to
show examples
 do cleaning, laundry and other household chores.
Less
Fix the agreement mistake
Fewer
show examples
 responsibilities means more free time
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can be
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
show examples
 in learning other useful skills or hobbies that one
wanted
Wrong verb form
wants
show examples
 to pursue.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 would have options to
do investment
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
 for the future with the money
that is
Linking Words
 saved by
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
while
Linking Words
 living with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
mostly
Use the right word
most
show examples
 people nowadays prefer to live with
parents
Use synonyms
 so that they can save on bills and invest
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 money to fund their houses, weddings or
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher education.
Cost
Correct article usage
The cost
show examples
 of living is rising day by day
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 for people to move out.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are certain
downsided
Correct your spelling
downsides
 of
this
Linking Words
 statement. First and foremost is the issue of privacy.
While
Linking Words
 living with
parents
Use synonyms
, there is very
less
Correct word choice
little
show examples
 privacy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 sometimes makes
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 issues in
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 it
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
 state of the
person
Use synonyms
. Permissions are required if
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
wanted
Wrong verb form
wants
show examples
 to do
party
Correct article usage
a party
show examples
, invite friends or wanted to do anything else on
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 own because
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 belongs to
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 staying at
Use synonyms
home
Punctuation problem
home,
show examples
 a
person
Use synonyms
 can’t get
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to explore
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
, and
purses
Use the right word
pursue
show examples
 education or other job opportunities that won’t be available without moving out.
For example
Linking Words
: when
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
wanted
Wrong verb form
wants
show examples
 to
purses
Use the right word
pursue
show examples
 studies in bigger universities
then
Linking Words
 he has to move out of
Use synonyms
home
Correct pronoun usage
his home
show examples
 to other places and cities to achieve his goals of getting
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 education. In conclusion, I believe that moving in with
parents
Use synonyms
 is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
much great decision in all aspects that I had mentioned
as
Rephrase
apply
show examples
above
as compare
Change preposition
compared
show examples
 to moving out.

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task response
State your view clearly in the start and keep to it in all parts.
task response
Give more full ideas and add real facts or examples to back each point.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and to show contrast (for example, also, but, however, in addition).
grammar
Check grammar. Use simple, correct form. watch words like a/an, and plural.
structure
Make short, clear sentences. Avoid long run on sentences.
coherence
Finish with a conclusion that matches the start and the main ideas.
structure
The person takes a clear view and has two sides
content
Some good ideas about save money and less chores
organization
There are breaks to show new idea
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cohabitation
  • intergenerational living
  • self-sufficiency
  • financial stability
  • maturation
  • dependency
  • socio-economic factors
  • familial dynamics
  • personal autonomy
  • housing affordability
  • cultural expectations
  • life trajectory
  • emotional resilience
  • nuclear family
  • joint family system
  • economic prudence
  • privacy concerns
  • social stigma
What to do next:
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