IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In many nations, renting a
house
Use synonyms
 is less
comforatble
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 than having a
home
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 argue that the reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that people want to invest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
house
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I believe that it develops the tourism. The money people
cost
Verb problem
spend
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rent every month could be used
in paying
Change preposition
to pay
show examples
Use synonyms
credit for
Rephrase
off
show examples
 their
home
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
credit.
show examples
 The cost of renting for a month and cutting the cost of the building for  the
credit
Use synonyms
 can be
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, when
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
Use synonyms
credit
Change preposition
for credit
show examples
, he can be sure that
this
Linking Words
house
Use synonyms
 is his and he does not need to ask permission for some changes,
while
Linking Words
 those who rent just waste their money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 someone else's flat.
For example
Linking Words
, one couple can get
credit
Use synonyms
 for 10 years for their
home
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
that
Change preposition
during that
show examples
 period of time, they will own it, and another couple can rent a building for the same time, but
at the end
Linking Words
 will not have anything. That's why
Correct article usage
the now
show examples
now population
Correct word order
population now
show examples
 chooses owning a
house
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 local people can buy a
house
Use synonyms
, more and more flats can be available for tourists for a short time. When most of the
residences
Replace the word
residents
show examples
 can move to their
home
Use synonyms
, tourists can use
this
Linking Words
renting
Replace the word
rental
show examples
buiding
Correct your spelling
building
 for their trips.
As a result
Linking Words
, the comfortable condition can
rise
Use the right word
raise
show examples
 the ranking of the tourism.
For example
Linking Words
, big cities like Paris, New York hotels are always full or too expensive, so visitors can use renting apartments to travel.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation is really essential for the development of tourism. 
To conclude
Linking Words
, the increasing number of individuals who prefer owning a
house
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your plan clear before you write. Start with a short intro that says your view. Then have 2 body parts that each give one idea. End with a short line that restates your view.
coherence cohesion
Add more simple ideas to show why owning a home is good and how it can help travel. Tie each idea to one main point.
language use
Use simple words and short sentences. Check spell and fix wrong words.
coherence cohesion
Use link words to link ideas, such as also, but, for example, then.
structure
Write a clear ending that restates your view and the main idea from the body.
content
The essay has a clear idea that owning a home can be seen as better than renting.
content
The writer gives a real example to show a point.
theme
The topic links housing and tourism in a simple way.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: