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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Men and women can never share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's world
Use synonyms
responsibilities
Punctuation problem
, responsibilities
show examples
 between men and women can change. Some people believe that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 can not share
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 home duties
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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base routine
Check wording
basis
show examples
. I would rather disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and explain
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
 my point of view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays people are trying to build partner relationships,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means that they are trying to share
responsibilities
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and not make one
pearson
Correct your spelling
person
 responsible for everything.
For example
Linking Words
, in my relationships me
and my boyfriend
Correct word order
my boyfriend and
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are
Correct pronoun usage
I are
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 partners, so we share all
huosehold
Correct your spelling
household
 duties. We created
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 plan that works perfectly for both of us. We split
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 and choose
that
Correct pronoun usage
what
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 we are good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, I like cooking
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I cook,
my
Correct word choice
but my
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 boyfriend cleans the dishes because I hate doing
this
Linking Words
. So you can always create a plan that would work for both.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we all can
to
Use the right word
do
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 "man and
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
" duties.
For instance
Linking Words
, when we live
alone
Punctuation problem
alone,
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 we are not waiting for the
pearson
Correct your spelling
person
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 gender to do
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 job. We have to do it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our own. So in
partnership
Add a comma
partnership,
show examples
 you can do the same. You can talk with your partner
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 he or she would like to
to
Use the right word
do
show examples
 in
household
Correct article usage
the household
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. And
this
Linking Words
 conversation can solve all of your problems.
Instead
Linking Words
 of blaming someone, just tell what you do not like about
situation
Correct article usage
the situation
show examples
. In conclusion, sharing
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 between men
amd
Correct your spelling
and
 women is a real
quiz
Check wording
challenge
show examples
, but in my humble opinion,
simple
Correct article usage
a simple
show examples
 conversation could solve all of your
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and make your life much easier and better.

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task response
Task response: The answer has a clear view, but it needs more full support. Add stronger reasons and more clear examples to show why agreeing with sharing duties is right.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and flow: Use clear idea in each part. Link words help the move from one idea to the next. Some parts have mistakes in grammar that make meaning hard. Fix sentences to be simple and clear.
content
The writer gives a clear view that men and women can share home duties.
structure
There is a plan to show how sharing duties can work, with examples.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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