IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays, many people prefer to seek medical advice on the Internet instead of seeing a qualified doctor. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

In modern society, many
people
Use synonyms
influenced
Verb problem
are influenced
show examples
 by information from the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 even get medical advice from the
Internet
Use synonyms
 rather than seeing a
doctor
Use synonyms
 when they are sick. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will find out why many
people
Use synonyms
 do not see a
doctor
Use synonyms
 but prefer to seek medical information on the
Internet
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 and give my opinion on
this
Linking Words
 trend.
Lets
Use the right word
Let's
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 begin by looking at why so many
people
Use synonyms
 are
medical
Replace the word
medically
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 advised by the
Internet
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instead
Linking Words
 of seeing a
doctor
Use synonyms
. One of the reasons is that
people
Use synonyms
 are not keen on spending too much money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 seeing a
doctor
Use synonyms
. Naturally, we should spend proper money to cure a crucial illness or injury, but
small
Correct article usage
a small
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 injury like muscle pain can be treated by medicine or massage at home by learning how to massage
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pain
Replace the word
painful
show examples
 part from the
Internet
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they can cure themselves. Another reason is time. Many
people
Use synonyms
 usually wait more than an hour
for seeing
Change preposition
to see
show examples
Use synonyms
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 who are sick of wasting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time do not see a
doctor
Use synonyms
 when they get a
tolerable
Correct word choice
minor
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 illness or injury. In my opinion, there are more

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task response
The essay asks about why people use the internet for medical advice and if this is good or bad. The text is incomplete and stops mid-thought. Add a clear opinion and finish with a conclusion.
structure
Plan the essay structure: write a short intro that states the topic and plan; have 2–3 body paragraphs each with a topic sentence and a simple example; end with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
language
Use simple, correct language and fix minor grammar mistakes (for example, 'Lets' should be 'Let us' or 'Let me'; 'medical advised' should be 'medical advice'; use 'the Internet' or 'online sources' rather than awkward phrases).
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words: first, also, but, however, because, so, as a result. This helps readers follow your thoughts.
examples
Give specific examples to support points, even small ones like 'people read about home remedies on health blogs' or 'they fear wrong advice' to show relevance.
content
The essay starts by naming the topic and what it will discuss.
content
The writer mentions money and time as reasons why people avoid doctors.
language
The text uses simple words, which fits the task and is easy to read.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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