IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that technology has made our lives easier, while others think it has created more problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
,
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apply
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technology
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now is
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is now
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 so advanced.
While
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 some people believe that it has made our lives easier,
other
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others
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 argue that it has increased our
problem
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problems
show examples
. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both
view points
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viewpoints
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. On the one hand, there are many benefits of
technology
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, as it has introduced new gadgets
such
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 as
cellphone
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cellphones
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, laptops,
internet
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and internet
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connection
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connections
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which
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, which
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made
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have made
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 our
life
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lives
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 so easy to function. To elaborate,
technology
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 is becoming very useful in various sectors
such
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 as industrial, commercial
work
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 and in the health
sectors
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sector
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, where most of the blood
works
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work
show examples
, operations and investigations are done by technological machines.
For instance
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, we can
work
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while
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 being in the comfort of our home by attending
important
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an important
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 online meeting.
Thus
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,
technology
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have
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has
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 made our
work
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 easy.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks of
this
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 invention, as a lot of people are dependent on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 for
there
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their
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work
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is making them lazy
,
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.
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 To exemplify,
number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of health problems are
arrising
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arising
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such
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, such
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 as
,
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apply
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 weak eyesight, and it
also
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give
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gives
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 a negative impact on mental health.
For example
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, artificial intelligence is growing widely,
especialy
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especially
 among
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation, making them dependent and
impacting
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having
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negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 impact on their critical thinking and
decision making
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decision-making
show examples
statergies
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strategies
.
Therefore
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, it is important to have more exposure
on
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to
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 physical
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 rather than just focusing on
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of advanced
technology
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 wide, I strongly believe that using anything in moderation is required.
However
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, I strongly believe that
,
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apply
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 getting
advantage
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the advantage
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 of advanced features is important for our
overall
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 growth.

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grammar
Fix many grammar mistakes, especially in verb form and noun use.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a clear link to the last sentence.
cohesion
Use clearer joining words, like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'for example', to tie ideas.
task response
Finish with a strong view in one sentence.
content
The essay tries to show both sides of the topic.
structure
It uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
content
The topic is clear and the goal is kept.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • streamlined processes
  • constant connectivity
  • learning and adaptation
  • enhance convenience
  • accessible services
  • remote work
  • flexible schedules
  • work-life balance
  • evolving nature
  • 'always on' culture
What to do next:
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