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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivataion for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the question of whether crimes should be judged solely on the basis of the act itself has sparked a contentious debate. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that fixed
punishments
Use synonyms
 lead to greater consistency and fairness,
while
Linking Words
 opponents argue that courts should
also
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 consider the reasoning behind the crime. In my opinion, I largely agree with the latter viewpoint. On the one hand, set penalty seems to contribute
society to more
Correct word order
to society's
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 convenience and
able
Verb problem
are able
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 to
make
Verb problem
apply
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deter crime. To expand
this
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further
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,
people
Use synonyms
 are free to engage in any activity that they regard as appropriate, including the commission of an
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
 and the subsequent fabrication of information.
For example
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,
according to
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 world statistics, India is at the top in crime rates; the government appreciates criminals' mistakes and is kind to assist them, but they do it regularly.
Consequently
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, some laws work pretty
good
Rephrase
well
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 to put them in prison or kill to reach safety.
On the other hand
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, fixed
punishments
Use synonyms
 are not always
work
Verb problem
apply
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enough to punish all
people
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
smae
Correct your spelling
same
 way.
This
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 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 do it
accedently
Correct your spelling
accidentally
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
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 themselves or saving their property.
For instance
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, 45% of
people
Use synonyms
 in prison or even die as
murder
Replace the word
murderers
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no
Punctuation problem
, no
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 matter what
happened
Punctuation problem
happened,
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 as
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 only cares about
Use synonyms
result
Correct article usage
the result
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not
Punctuation problem
, not
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process
Correct article usage
the process
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,
Punctuation problem
. As
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as a
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result
Use synonyms
, their families should lead a life for many years or never
reahc
Correct your spelling
reach
 them again.
On the other hand
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, fixed
punishments
Use synonyms
 are not always
work
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enough to punish all
people
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
smae
Correct your spelling
same
 way.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 do it
accedently
Correct your spelling
accidentally
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
 themselves or saving their property.
For instance
Linking Words
, 45% of
people
Use synonyms
 in prison or even die as
murder
Replace the word
murderers
show examples
no
Punctuation problem
, no
show examples
 matter what
happened
Punctuation problem
happened,
show examples
 as
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 only cares about
Use synonyms
result
Correct article usage
the result
show examples
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
. As
show examples
as a
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result
Use synonyms
, their families should lead a life for many years or never
reahch
Correct your spelling
reach
 them again. In conclusion,
whereas
Linking Words
 some argue that predetermined
punishments
Use synonyms
 are better to deter homicide and contribute to society a consistency, criminals need to be subjected to sentence judgmentally by authorities based on the specific case.

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language
Improve grammar and sentence structure. Use simple, accurate sentences; avoid spelling errors.
organization
Clarify your main idea in the introduction and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
content
Develop ideas with more detail and avoid repeating sentences. Use relevant, simple examples.
cohesion
Use linking words to show contrast and addition, and ensure logical flow between points.
conclusion
Make a clear conclusion that restates your opinion and summarizes main points.
content
Attempts to discuss both sides and to give an opinion.
structure
Structure with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion.
content
Use of examples shows an effort to generalize.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • deterrence
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • nuanced
  • rehabilitation
  • re-offending rates
  • tailored sentencing
  • judicial discretion
  • minimum sentences
  • hybrid approach
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