IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

It is often argued that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are highly successful at convincing
people
Use synonyms
 to purchase companies'
products
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others insist that
promotions
Use synonyms
 are no longer special
to
Rephrase
enough to
show examples
 persuade customers to buy their goods. From my perspective, the latter seems more plausible, but both sides of the issue will be examined in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it can be argued that advertising still remains one of the strongest methods to convince
people
Use synonyms
 to buy their
products
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
promotions
Use synonyms
 draw attention effectively.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because advertisement gives a strong impression in a few seconds.
In other words
Linking Words
, it gives a large number of merits
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
products
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will be persuaded to purchase their
products
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Nike hired a famous basketball player to promote their shoes to basketball fans,
then
Linking Words
 it increased sales.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fans could potentially become loyal consumers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is commonly believed that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 do not persuade
people
Use synonyms
 to buy their
products
Use synonyms
 anymore.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is because advertising is becoming common.
In other words
Linking Words
,
advertisements
Use synonyms
 no longer capture takes attention of consumers.
People
Use synonyms
 are exposed to a large number of
promotions
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they watch television, listen to the radio or even walk on the street. So, it may make
people
Use synonyms
 feel a sense of resistance. Which means
people
Use synonyms
 will not make decisions through
advertisements
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advertising could mislead customers because
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
pick
Verb problem
prefer
show examples
 important things as their preference. It can lead
people
Use synonyms
 to leave bad reviews, and the sales will drop. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 both views have their own merits, I personally believe that
promotions
Use synonyms
 will not be extremely successful at persuading
people
Use synonyms
 to buy goods. As it became too common, and can mislead consumers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Clear plan: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
opinion
You show your own view in the end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: