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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today people have unhealthy diets and do not exercise. What are the reasons? suggest some solution for solving this situation.

In recent years, an increasing number of individuals have suffered from physical and mental
health
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issues
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 stemming from excessive fast
food
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 consumption and sedentary
lifestyles
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, resulting in a decreased quality of
life
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.
However
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, I strongly believe that
this
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 issue can be effectively addressed through strategies
such
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 as fostering active
lifestyles
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 and promoting healthy eating
habits
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. One of the significant contributors to modern
health
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 problems is excessive fast
food
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 consumption.
This
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 issue arises because many fast
food
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 companies aggressively use advertisements to shape people's eating
habits
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.
For example
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,
according to
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 a survey conducted in the USA, the number of fast
food
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 consumers has doubled over the
last
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 two decades.
As a result
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, the shift from traditional, nutritious
food
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 to unhealthy eating
habits
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 not only leads to a growing rate of obesity but
also
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 increases healthcare expenses. Another factor that contributes to serious
health
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issues
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 is sedentary
lifestyles
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. As rapid technological advancements have facilitated modern
life
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, a large number of people have become reliant on digital devices for both work and entertainment.
This
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 trend, in turn, has
further
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 promoted sedentary behaviour, leading to serious mental
health
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 problems
such
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 as social isolation and low self-esteem. Despite all these challenges, a series of measures can be taken to address
this
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 issue effectively.
To begin
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 with, governments should integrate
health
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 education into school curricula.
This
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 approach would enable schools to foster greater awareness of healthy eating
habits
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. By demonstrating the negative consequences of fast
food
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 consumption, teachers can clearly explain to students how maintaining a nutritious diet positively affects their physical development.
As a result
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, younger generations would be more likely to adopt healthier
lifestyles
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 and make informed dietary choices in the long term.
In addition
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 to education, governments and local authorities should implement policies aimed at fostering active
lifestyles
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 throughout the community.
This
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 can be achieved by significantly increasing investment in public infrastructure,
such
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 as establishing more walking trails, bicycle paths, and outdoor fitness parks. By making these resources freely available and easily accessible, the government can remove key financial and geographical barriers to exercise, thereby encouraging citizens to spend less time in sedentary pursuits.
Furthermore
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, running public awareness campaigns that highlight the benefits of daily physical activity can motivate people to use these facilities. Ultimately, these steps would allow individuals to integrate physical movement seamlessly into their routines, which would not only counter the effects of a
digitalized
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digitalised
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, sedentary
life
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 but
also
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 contribute to a measurable reduction in obesity rates and mental
health
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issues
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. In conclusion, the rise in physical and mental
health
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issues
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 is closely linked to the aggressive marketing of fast
food
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 and the increasingly sedentary nature of modern, technologically driven
life
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.
However
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, I believe that
this
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 downward trend can be successfully reversed by implementing a combination of robust strategies, most notably by integrating
health
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 education into school curricula and by government investment in public infrastructure that promotes active
lifestyles
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. By adopting these measures, society can foster a healthier population
that is
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 more equipped to make informed choices for a higher quality of
life
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.

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coherence
Use more clear links between ideas with simple joining words.
task response
Add more real examples or numbers to back points.
cohesion
Shorten long sentences for easier read and better flow.
content
The view on the issue is clear and the answer fits the task.
structure
There is a good plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
evidence
It uses some real life examples to make points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • processed foods
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • digital entertainment
  • balanced diet
  • exacerbates
  • implement policies
  • active transportation
  • promote availability
  • affordability
  • innovative technological solutions
  • motivate
  • awareness
  • dietary habits
  • exercise routines
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