Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that a large number of health problems
caused
Verb problem
are caused
show examples
by sugary products, so producers should make products containing high levels of sugar more expensive. From my perspective, it seems absurd since it can negatively affect economic
afforability
Correct your spelling
affordability
and
inflation
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, admittedly, I accept that sugary
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
products lead to an increase in chronic diseases, which
Use synonyms
people
Verb problem
causes people
show examples
make visit hospitals more.
This
Linking Words
results in facing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial hardships.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can be a large burden for the government as the government should allocate more funds that could
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
for social wellbeing or other sectors.
As a result
Linking Words
,
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
will be increased
due to
Linking Words
establishing larger funds.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I am convinced that companies should not
rise
Use the right word
raise
show examples
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
of sugar-added
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
because
people
Use synonyms
will suffer from
inflation
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is mainly because most
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
consume
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
show examples
sugar. It leads to high
inflation
Use synonyms
once sugary
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
become expensive.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
will not afford enough
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
, so they will suffer from famine.
For example
Linking Words
, in the UK, the government implemented
Correct article usage
a sugar-tax
show examples
sugar-tax
Use the right word
sugar tax
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
made
Verb problem
caused
show examples
high
inflation
Use synonyms
in
food
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, a large number of
people
Use synonyms
experienced starvation even though the UK is one of the richest countries in the world. In conclusion,
manufacturer
Fix the agreement mistake
manufacturers
show examples
shold
Correct your spelling
should
not make sugary
food
Use synonyms
and
drink
Use synonyms
more expensive to encourage
people
Use synonyms
to reduce sugar consumption because
Use synonyms
food
Change preposition
of food
show examples
affordability and famine.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Keep one clear view and stick to it in the essay.
structure
Make your paragraphs with one idea per paragraph: idea, reason, example.
grammar
Fix big grammar mistakes and use simple, correct sentences.
vocabulary
Use simple words and short phrases; avoid hard words.
content
Use a real example that shows why you think this way.
content
Clear view against higher sugar price.
structure
Some linked ideas with reasons.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: