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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is teachers’ responsibility to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school, while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In these
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These
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 days, school has become an important subject of debate, and one of the main concerns is the healthy
diet
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 at school. Some people believe that it is the teachers’ duty to guide children on what they should eat,
while
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 others think that parents should be in charge of it.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and give reasons for the conclusion. First and foremost, teachers should be responsible because they are the ones who are paid to tutor students. At the earliest age of a child, when attending school, teachers should
mend
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model
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 their
behavior
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behaviour
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 and ethics in everyday life.
As a result
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, they should be the ones to show kids what they should eat and let them know about the nutritional factors of specific types of food to have enough nutrients for daily activities.
On the other hand
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, parents are not to be neglected because they understand and know about their child’s personality and lifestyle.
As a result
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, they know how to encourage kids to follow a well-balanced
diet
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. In conclusion,
although
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 both sides have the same aim to teach kids to have a healthy
diet
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, it is the parents who understand their offspring the most and should be responsible for their children's healthy
diet
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.

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task response
Be clear in your intro by stating your view and what you will talk about. In the body, give a reason for each side. End with your clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Make the text flow better with linking words. Use simple links to show contrast (but, however) and to join ideas step by step.
strength
The essay has a clear view in the end.
structure
The text is easy to read and follows a simple plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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