IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays,many people choose to be self employed rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages.

Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 decide to work for themselves for flexibility
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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; they want to have a job that allows them to work on their own timeline,
instead
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 of having it
being
Verb problem
apply
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set by a certain company.
This
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 kind of flexibility,
although
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 beneficial for their own satisfaction, can have several disadvantages:
first,
Linking Words
work delays. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 who prioritise flexibility might not be disciplined enough to finish their day-to-day tasks on the desired time, leaving more tasks for the next day.
Second,
Linking Words
reduced work-related social skills. Being self-employed means
people
Use synonyms
 do not have the advantage of meeting coworkers.
This
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 results in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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reduced work-related social skills as they are not being exposed to working on
acase
Correct your spelling
a case
 with other
people
Use synonyms
.
Third,
Linking Words
reduced chance of connecting unique individuals. Working with coworkers allows
people
Use synonyms
 to discuss various topics, whether it is work-related or personal topics, which can add value to their lives. Self-employment isolates
this
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 kind of fulfilling activity. Fourth, being self-employed can impact
people
Use synonyms
's mental health. Self-employment removes contact hours with coworkers, and working without them can lead to loneliness. There will not be anyone to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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lunch
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together
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apply
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with, to complain about clients with, or to brainstorm a new idea
, or
Change preposition
with, or
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 to go home or
a
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to a
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bar with. The absence of those activities can partly cause burnout, in the worst case. In conclusion, being self-employed has disadvantages that can overpower its advantages, and
people
Use synonyms
 should never underestimate them.
Therefore
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, it would be wiser if
people
Use synonyms
 chose working at companies rather than being self-employed.

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content
The essay mainly lists the bad side of self work. Add a view that is the good side as well and compare both sides.
coherence
Use exact links like 'but' or 'also' to show the ideas are tied.
language
Fix small spell and word form: 'flexibility reason' -> 'flexibility reasons', 'acase' -> 'a case', 'prioritise' -> 'prioritize' (if writing in UK).
structure
Add a short plan at the start to show your plan to discuss both pros and cons.
content
Clear idea that self-employ work can be hard on social life.
content
Some good examples of problems like loneliness and delays.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • freedom
  • pursue
  • passion
  • interest
  • income
  • financial success
  • control
  • working hours
  • work-life balance
  • empowerment
  • ownership
  • job security
  • stability
  • financial challenges
  • isolation
  • social interaction
  • self-discipline
  • motivation
  • deadlines
  • supervisors
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