IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick?

At present times, increasing inflation has put an unseen burden on
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
, which is forcing them to
work
Use synonyms
 even when they are not well.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
 several other
commitment
Fix the agreement mistake
commitments
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
, stress, and desire to get
promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
show examples
 make people
work
Use synonyms
 during sick days. I believe it is an incorrect practice. I will discuss
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 behind my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, going to
work
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 being sick creates a major risk of transferring sickness to other people at
work
Use synonyms
, which will ultimately lead to lower productivity at
work
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it will
version
Verb problem
affect
show examples
 the
employees
Check wording
employees'
show examples
 health
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
intern
Use the right word
in turn
show examples
 will lead to more leaves and
less outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer outcomes
show examples
 at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
.

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structure
Add a clear conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect.
ideas
Give more detail for each point and add an example.
grammar
Correct grammar errors (for example 'people's mind' → 'people's minds'; 'it will version' → 'it will affect').
position
Clear stance that going to work when sick is not good.
content
The topic is introduced with reasoned arguments.
content
Some support is given, showing concern for health and work result.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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