IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people believe that it is the government's resposibility to provide care and finance to support people after they retire, Others, however, think that individuals themselves should save money in their own when they are old. discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often aruges
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should give funding to old age people for medical and shelter purposes,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it is their own
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is
shared
Correct article usage
a shared
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of rulers and individuals. The states should
aide
Use the right word
aid
show examples
 over 65 population with housing and health care, because an
invidual
Correct your spelling
individual
 who
had been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 worked during his whole
life
Use synonyms
 in order to contribute to
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
 GDP, should get something in return.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people pay tax with each paycheque, which
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 for social purposes.
This
Linking Words
why
Verb problem
is why
show examples
 they are obligated to get something in return later in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
, when they will be unable to
ear
Use the right word
earn
show examples
 themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Canada
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
 for their nursing homes and medical care is
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
cost
Rephrase
no cost
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, it is
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
individual
Check wording
individual's
show examples
 duty to keep some amount of money for later
life
Use synonyms
. When people get
retired
Punctuation problem
retired,
show examples
 they do not have any means of
earing
Use the right word
earning
show examples
, in order to spend
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
Use synonyms
 they should plan ahead.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
have alots
Wrong verb form
has a lot
show examples
 to work on for development. It will be extra stress on
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 if they pay for
healthcae
Correct your spelling
health care
 and homes to elders with the money which could be used for other purposes. To
concluse
Correct your spelling
conclude
this
Linking Words
, I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that it is
shared
Correct article usage
a shared
show examples
resposibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and a person to keep some savings to
spend
Verb problem
lead
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 during
Correct article usage
the post
show examples
post job
Use the right word
post-job
show examples
 period.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro that says what you will cover. Then write one idea per paragraph and end with your clear view.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar. Use short, simple sentences. Check words that are hard to spell.
content
Give small facts or facts that can be seen for your points. Keep it simple and true.
strength
You talk about both sides and give your own view.
strength
You give an example from Canada.
strength
You try to show why some help is good for older people.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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