IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is always the best idea to accept any bad situation, like not
satisfied
Use the right word
unsatisfied
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
a jobs
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jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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 or not
enough
Verb problem
having enough
show examples
 finances.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
however
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many think that
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 can make those
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 better by trying more and more. From my perspective, it is best to keep trying and improve these situations.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accept bad situations
due to
Linking Words
 various reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 get demotivated by not achieving their desired results.
For instance
Linking Words
, if someone gave many
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 interviews
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 but
unable
Verb problem
was unable
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 to get a position, the
person
Use synonyms
 probably feels demotivated
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 he/she will accept that there will be no chance
getting
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 job in future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many individuals think that it is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 way
accept
Verb problem
to accept
show examples
 failure as they do not want to get stressed by trying again and again. As they already
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 the results like they are not able to achieve that goal. On the other side, many individuals believe that it is always
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 idea to try and achieve the results
due to
Linking Words
 many reasons. If
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 on trying, a
person
Use synonyms
 can get a chance to know about their weak skills.
This
Linking Words
 helps them to work on their skills and can achieve the desired result.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone took
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
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test
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 but
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 unable to pass the
test
Use synonyms
. The
test
Use synonyms
 report will tell the user to work on weak points and
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
 to pass the
test
Use synonyms
 next time.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would say
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
 practising helps the
person
Use synonyms
 to get motivated, and at some
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
 a
person
Use synonyms
 is able to achieve the goal. Many
people
Use synonyms
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
like
Change preposition
that
show examples
 getting
rejection
Replace the word
rejected
show examples
 many times makes them stressed. I believe
by
Correct word choice
that by
show examples
 getting proper education,
this
Linking Words
 issue can be minimised.

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Structure
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to show the main idea.
Coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, next, but, and so to keep flow.
Content
Give one good example for each view and explain it plainly.
Language
Check grammar and word form, especially tense and plural.
Task
End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
Content
You try to discuss both views and state your own view.
Content
Some time you use example to back up idea.
Structure
You divide work into paragraphs which helps reading.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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