IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Whether or not becoming rich with unethical approaches is acceptable even if it is contributing to society is still a debatable topic.

depends, what the
society
Use synonyms
 get?
if
Fix capitalization
If
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 it's something positive like using the money for volunteering or something that helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
Use synonyms
 itself, maybe make
a
Correct article usage
an
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 orphanage or hospitals. But if someone
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 it for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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negative things,
society
Use synonyms
 will see it as something bad
of
Punctuation problem
, of
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 course, so that's why rich people
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
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 their persona good or
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
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 their reputation as good as possible
,
Punctuation problem
.
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Society
Use synonyms
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
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 and
judge
Correct subject-verb agreement
judges
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 what
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
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not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 just some theories or conspiracy.
Society
Use synonyms
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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clear bad
evidences
Fix the agreement mistake
evidence
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, the rich
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 will
done
Verb problem
be done
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 for good.
Society
Use synonyms
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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clear
good
Correct word choice
apply
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evidances
Correct your spelling
evidence
, the rich
peoples
Check wording
people's
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 reputation will
sky rocketed
Verb problem
skyrocket
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 maybe their
ego's
Check wording
egos
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 will rise
up
Rephrase
apply
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too. If the Rich use unethical methods to gain
influences
Fix the agreement mistake
influence
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 or wealth,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 think it'll
ends
Correct subject-verb agreement
end
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bad
Replace the word
badly
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 because
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe in karma and
back to back
Use the right word
back-to-back
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 actions
, you
Punctuation problem
. You
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did
Wrong verb form
do
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 something good, the world will do you good
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 you
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 something bad, the world will do you bad. The conclusion is
avoid
Verb problem
to avoid
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 the unethical methods
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it'll do you no good.

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Task response
Task response: Your view is clear, you say avoid bad ways, and you give ideas of what can happen. The task needs a clear plan with a firm view. Start with a short intro that states your main view. Then give two or three clear reasons and one simple example. End with a short line that restates your view.
Coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are easy to follow, but the order is not strong. Use one idea per paragraph. In each body paragraph give a reason and a simple example. Use linking words to join ideas, like also, but, so, because. End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
Task response
Your view comes through and you touch on how money can help people.
Coherence and cohesion
You show a sense of cause and effect, saying what you do can come back to you.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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