IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia betwween 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart provides
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stastical
Correct your spelling
statistical
 data to compare the number of skilled migrants over four categories in Australia
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
four-year of
Use the right word
four years
show examples
 2009-2012. In general, it is evident that
accountant
Fix the agreement mistake
accountants
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 show a considerable number of occupations compared to other groups,
while
Linking Words
 fewer
programmer
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programmers
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employed
Verb problem
are employed
show examples
 in Australia during the
period
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the accountant groups, it stood at 20
thousand
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 migrants,
than
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then
show examples
 a
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
 rise
exhibited
Verb problem
was exhibited
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 in a year
later
Rephrase
apply
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,
forming
Verb problem
reaching
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 27
thousand
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, before declining to its original level in the rest
period
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. The same figure was exhibited by
software
Correct article usage
a software
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 engineer in the
period
Use synonyms
 in question, a remarkable 20
thousand
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 had been made up during 2009-2011, after which
decreased
Correct pronoun usage
it decreased
show examples
 to its lowest at nearly 15
thousand
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 by 2012. In
comparion
Correct your spelling
comparison
, chef workers fluctuated with a noticeable level reported in its initial year,
then
Linking Words
 went down modestly by
margin
Correct article usage
a margin
show examples
 of 2
thousand
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 pattern
recorded
Verb problem
was recorded
show examples
 in the next remaining years, with
identical
Correct article usage
an identical
show examples
 series as it was in its first 2-year
period
Use synonyms
.
Coversely
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, computer programmer was the weakest figure, making up
merely
Rephrase
apply
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fewer than 5
thousand
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.
This
Linking Words
 occupation started at 2
thousand
Use synonyms
than
Correct word choice
and
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consistent
Replace the word
consistently
show examples
 grew to 5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2012.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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