IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The number of TV programmes is growing day by day.Some people say that it is good as it gives people more choices, while others say it affects the quality of TV programmes.Discuss both views and give your opinion?

In the digital age, the burst of
TV
Use synonyms
 programme
production
Use synonyms
 symbolises the
flourishness
Correct your spelling
flourishing
 of the broadcasting industry.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that
this
Linking Words
 allows
Use synonyms
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
 to have more options, critics argue that
such
Linking Words
 mass
production
Use synonyms
woud
Correct your spelling
would
 deteriorate the shows'
quality
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the
quality
Use synonyms
 of the shows should keep up with the quantity. I would illustrate the opposing views in the aspect of the entertainment patterns and
preferences
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 the perspective of the mass public's entertainment patterns, people usually enjoy
TV
Use synonyms
 shows after work or during meals as a way of relaxing. The increased number of
TV
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 does offer
Use synonyms
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
 more choices for entertainment as they are given more genres of
serier
Correct your spelling
series
,
such
Linking Words
 as comedy, romance, or action, which cater to each individual's interests.
However
Linking Words
, imagine after a long day of work, would people still be patient
to
Rephrase
enough to
show examples
 scroll through thousands of shows in the list to find their favourite drama? And even though they found a show that appears to be amusing, if they found the
production
Use synonyms
 cheap and boring, wouldn't that become a waste of time?
Therefore
Linking Words
, having
such
Linking Words
range
Correct article usage
a range
show examples
 of
TV
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 may not be suitable for
Use synonyms
audience
Correct article usage
an audience
show examples
 who would just like to chill by watching a show. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
view of
preferences
Use synonyms
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
 lovers tend to watch
programmes
Use synonyms
 with higher
quality
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
, more logical plot, more realistic props, and fancier style and make-up on the actors.
According to
Linking Words
 a recent study by the University of Hong Kong, a drastic shift in
audience
Use synonyms
preferences
Use synonyms
 in
TV
Use synonyms
 shows
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 changed from local TVB series to Korean dramas, and the major reason is the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
production
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the number of shows is
skyrocketting
Correct your spelling
skyrocketing
, the public
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very
unlkely
Correct your spelling
unlikely
 to watch them if the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
programmes
Use synonyms
 decreases, regardless of the genre.
Overall
Linking Words
, a wider range of
TV
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 does not
neccessarily
Correct your spelling
necessarily
 cater to
Use synonyms
audience's
Correct article usage
the audience's
show examples
entertinment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 habits and
preferences
Use synonyms
. In my conviction, having
numrous
Correct your spelling
numerous
programmes
Use synonyms
 is the least benefit for the public since
quality
Use synonyms
 is more vital than quantity. The industry should look into ways that improve programme
quality
Use synonyms
 rather than chasing
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of shows.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
State your main view in the opening paragraph and keep it clear in the end. Make a short overall view.
coherence
Make each paragraph show one main idea. Use simple topic sentences and link words to turn ideas easy to follow.
content
Give a clear example for each idea. Do not rely on weak or vague points. If you mention studies, say who did it and when.
language
Fix spell and grammar mistakes. Use short, safe sentences. Use common words from the top 100 words.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides and to give a view at the end.
structure
There is a clear form: intro, two body parts, and a closing paragraph.
analysis
Some good links hint at how ideas are connected.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: